The world works in mysterious ways sometimes and although I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, sometimes understanding those reasons aren't as easy as you'd like them to be. For a little while I had been struggling with how to even begin to be okay with losing something I didn't even know I had and the consequent realisation that I didn't even really know I wanted it until I'd lost it. Confused? Don't worry, I am too. I don't feel sad or angry or bitter, well I did at the time, but not anymore. Now I'm mostly just confused. But also oddly positive and uplifted because now I know that if one day I'm lucky enough to have it again, it'll probably be the best time of my life, ever, and I can treasure it and enjoy it without having to worry if it's the right thing. Because it will be the right thing. And not having to worry about things like that makes everything about a million times easier.