H O M E .      A B O U T .      C O N T A C T .      T U M B L R .      T H E   B O O K   J O U R N A L .      sailorjennie [at] gmail [dot] com

Sunday, 30 June 2013

Living life, following your heart and (sometimes) breaking the rules!

You know when you're at school and your peers feel the need to pigeonhole you into a certain category, or pass some kind of judgement on you that you never wanted or asked for but they felt the need to do it as some kind of misguided way to boost their own self-confidence? Well at school I was 'the boring one', which I'm sure you'll agree is absolutely charming and was a huge boost to my self esteem but thankfully I learned to give approximately zero fucks about what anyone thought. My mama taught me that and I will thank her every day for instilling that in me as far back as I can remember. As long as you and those closest to you are happy, who cares about what other people think! Please take that thought with you too, fold it up and put it in your pocket for a day when you might need to remember it; it's got me through some rainy days & I know it will do the same for you.

While, admittedly, during school I was a little caught up in my own thoughts and had things going on that I just didn't discuss (I'm not a talker and I don't think I ever will be), I also didn't stay home every night alone like they thought I did, but even if I had, if that's what I liked doing and I was still challenging myself and doing things, then there's nothing wrong with that. To them, because I wasn't into the same things they were preferring instead to do my own thing rather than tagging along awkwardly, I imagine I did seem pretty boring. That doesn't mean I was having a miserable time, far from it in fact! Those years have some of the best memories attached to them it's just that not everyone knew about them. I thought as I got older those people would, well, not exist anymore I suppose. Turns out I was wrong and in many situations, be it at work, or well, pretty much anywhere really, there's usually that one person that still feels the need to pass those judgements (that tend to be way off the mark & come off sounding a little rude) no one asked to hear.

I am an introvert, I enjoy my own company, I like being at home in my own space surrounded by my own things. It's where I feel most comfortable, it's where I feel inspired and it's where I want to spend a lot of my free time. That's just part of who I am and instead of trying to fight it (been there, done that, it's just so exhausting), I embrace it and most importantly, learn to work with it. I'm not super comfortable in big social situations, I'm not spontaneous (my heart races just thinking about being spontaneous) and spending extended periods of time in my pyjamas is one of my favourite things BUT that doesn't mean I'm not doing fun and exciting things while in said comfortable pyjamas! And if you're an introvert too - hello *high five!*

Hitting the clubs, traveling for months on end and summertime festivals aren't for me, they're just not my thing and if they're not your thing either - that's okay! Not everyone is lucky enough to get the opportunity to live a full life and for that reason you should spend your precious days following your heart. I'm a firm believer that you'll know when something feels right & when something feels wrong. Don't let anyone tell you how you should be spending your time because they're not you, they don't know what your heart is telling you. Age is just a number, it doesn't define you. You don't need to spend every night out on the town because you're eighteen just like you sure as heck don't need to put away your dancing shoes if you're eighty and you don't want to! You don't just stop. You don't have to one day be a grown up and stop having fun. You have to spend your whole life having fun, making the best of every situation and never forgetting to smile. If I'm lucky enough to make it to eighty and I want to have pink hair, I won't let anyone tell me otherwise. Sometimes you have to follow 'the rules' but sometimes you can stick two fingers up at them and do what you want.

If partying with your best friends makes you happy then you make sure you go and dance your little heart out! Or if you've just bought your first house and thinking about decor makes you smile then you tape up those seventy-billion paint swatches that are all pretty much the same colour on to the wall & spend hours trying to decide between them - been there and it's totally one of the best parts! Or maybe you're a mama or a papa and your idea of the best night in is reading to your littles, then you do that and make sure you put on the best storybook voices you can to make them giggle!

Just because we all like different things and choose to spend our time in different ways, does that make any of us boring? No way! Because if you spend your days doing what makes you happy, you won't regret a thing!
xoxo

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55 comments:

  1. I agree with everything you've written about here Jennie! I'm a total introvert too, and I'm really not into the whole clubbing scene as I just feel totally out of place. I hate feeling pressured to put on a false personality just to fit in, I'd rather not fit in than have to do that. I much prefer just doing my own thing - it's nice that you feel the same way! xxx

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    1. Absolutely, it's no fun having to pretend to like something when you'd rather be anywhere else! xo

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  2. Amen to this! Something I definitely learnt about myself this year (22) is that clubbing was only something I really ever did because everyone else did, and that there's no guilt in saying 'No thanks, it's not for me'. When we're young we so often have the 'fear of missing out' in terms of what everyone else is doing - it's so much more important to listen to yourself and your heart about what you enjoy and will feel good doing. To the people who say 'you're boring!' when you don't want to do something, I say, 'you're boring for expecting everyone to want the same things as you!' The whole point is that we're all different and that's ok. Thanks for writing this post, it's nice to hear the same feelings from somebody else! :) xoxo

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    1. Life would be very boring if we were all the same! xo

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  3. I loved reading this - it is so true. I am an introvert too *introvert high five* and I can really relate to what you have written. Great post! :)
    www.theemeralddove21.blogspot.com

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  4. So so so agree! I was thinking yesterday "am I odd that I have 0, or less than 0, interest in being at glasto this weekend?!" and no, it just doesn't appeal to me in any way, neither do clubs, and I think I've been in about 3 in my whole life, and every time I left bored, really really bored. Its not that I don't like going out, but I like going to places to see things, and then sleep in my comfy bed, not a tent! x x x

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    1. Camping is one of my worst nightmares! Whenever I think about tents I think back to doing Duke of Edinburgh at school and awful campsite toilets *shudder* haha! xo

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  5. Such a wonderful post Jennie! I love when you speak from your heart and write like this. Sometimes it seems so hard to follow your heart but in the end of the day if you do you'll be living the life you are supposed to live and be happy. :)x

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    1. Exactly! It's definitely not always easy, but always worth it! xo

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  6. Such a beautiful post Jennie and one of the reasons why your blog is one of my favourite reads!You sound very similar to me. I was always considered the 'boring one' at school. Some people feel the need to put others in certain 'boxes' but I'm glad I was myself rather than following the in crowd. I like staying at home at lot too, some people might consider that dull but I dont really care!Like you say, do what makes you happy! xx

    Zoe | Sweet Electric

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    1. It's so important to be yourself, it's something you don't regret! <3

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  7. This is a really nice post. I feel like I agree with so much of what you say. Hanna Marie

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  8. This was such a lovely post! I'm quite introverted too and I love nothing more than spending as much time as possible in my pj's. But I still have fun.

    I really related to this post so thankyou for posting it :)

    Lauren | Bits and Bobs xx

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  9. I like this post! It explains me almost perfectly. Though, I think that we should be open to trying new things (I'd say that I prefer staying home vs going clubbing, even though I've never been clubbing before) because we never know if we'll really like it or not.

    But then again, I'm not sure what that thought has anything to do with what you wrote :P Bookmarking this, thank you~

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    1. Trying new things is definitely important, it's good to push yourself sometimes! xo

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  10. This was lovely Jennie, and you're right - as long as you're having fun and are happy, then who cares! There's nothing I love more than cosying up with loved ones and having good laughs with a night in! And there's no point in ever trying to impress anyone, because if you need to do that then they're clearly not worth it. Hope you're well sweet :)

    Louise x
    The Little Things

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  11. Lovely post! Thats what I love about people that we are all different and walk a different path in life. I am very much an introvert too! I work from home & have such a small circle of friends but they are the best friends I need & I couldn't ask for more.
    This post affirmed for me that I am not alone in feeling slightly awkward and preferring to go through life being slightly cautious. Here's to being 80 with pink hair & a big smile on our faces. Who is with me x

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    1. Haha team pink hair for sure! <3

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  12. Another very well written piece Jennie. Tell me again why aren't you published yet? But seriously, you've touched on another topic very close to my situation right now. I'm 20 and I spend the majority of my time alone, in my room reading blogs and writing my own blog. Catching up on shows like Lost (so good) and Pretty Little Liars. I don't have a rock and roll lifestyle- far from it. I have friends but they're Uni friends and the only time I see them is during the semester. Other than them, I pretty much have no one to speak to as friends. And while I'll admit it gets pretty lonely at times, I refuse to think my life is boring because as you've correctly pointed out, if you spend your times doing what you love, you won't regret a thing. :) But maybe I should be more sociable and find me some friends, what do you think? haha

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    1. Oh gosh, definitely not good enough to be published! I think meeting new people is always a good thing, especially if they share a similar interest to you, but if you're happy spending the holidays catching up on all the things you love then I don't think it's something you have to do. Be happy sweet <3

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    2. well let's just say Jennie if I ever end up owning a publishing house, I'm going to gather up all your inspirational posts like this one and publish them in 1 book because seriously, they're like hugs of comfort every time I read them. So thank you for always writing about topics, most people can relate to <3

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    3. Aww yay! Thank you <3

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  13. This is so lovely! Sometimes i feel exactly the same as you as i was so quiet in school, yet i do think i need to grow in confidence to reach my goals in life! Thankyou for writing this xxx

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    1. You'll get there, I know you will! xo

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  14. Every word so true. You are awesome.

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  15. This is so true. I think people need to learn to grow into being themselves, I don't think anyone can ever be truly happy trying to be someone that somebody else wants them to be.
    Lovely post!

    Emily / Glittery Teacups

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  16. This is such a lovely post, I am an introvert too, but I think it's so important to enjoy your own company :) The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself of course!

    beautyandtheb1.blogspot.co.uk

    b xx

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  17. Such a lovely and inspiring post Jenny! I love the line 'As long as you and those closest to you are happy, who cares about what other people think!' - That's so true. Def going to bookmark this as a helpful reminder ;) xx

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  18. Couldn't agree more... one minute I want to be out socialising with friends and other times I'll be happy just pottering around at home whether it's reorganising my wardrobe or catching up on my favourite blogs! If that makes me boring so be it!!

    Victoria x
    FlorenceandMary.com

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  19. This was such a great post Jennie! And wow, I couldn't agree more! Just because someone isn't like you, doesn't mean you should try to please them and make them happy by doing what they do. I'm actually the opposite, I love going to festivals and concerts, and most of my friends are a little more shy, so it's just something I'm used to. As long as I'm happy and my friends and family are happy, it's all good :)

    xoxo aly

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    1. Absolutely, it's all about being happy <3

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  20. Such a meaningful post and so true! I'm 23 and not one for clubbing, getting drunk and going out every night yet to some people that seems to be a sin which is ridiculous! It's so much better to just be who you want to be and proud of it.
    Good for you! <3

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  21. Really enjoyed reading this post, I became a mama a yet ago and things have definitely changed for me. I do spend my one doing what makes me happy. Time is so precious now, we should definitely spend our precious time doing whatever we want!! :)

    Www.beingmebeingmum.com

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  22. Warning-Jenny Joseph

    When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
    With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
    And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
    And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
    I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
    And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
    And run my stick along the public railings
    And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
    I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
    And pick flowers in other people's gardens
    And learn to spit.

    You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
    And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
    Or only bread and pickle for a week
    And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

    But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
    And pay our rent and not swear in the street
    And set a good example for the children.
    We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

    But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
    So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
    When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

    ...
    I felt like sharing it ;)

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing that! <3

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  23. Thank you for this post!

    I've always been the kind of girl that comes home from work, makes a cup of tea and settles in for the night looking forward to reading a book, cuddling my cats, chatting to my mum and sister and enjoying being home.
    Recently we had a new guy start at work who is very much a party guy, out drinking every weekend and has more friends than I do shoes! He simply cannot understand why I'm not like him and sometimes I take on board his comments and feel like it's me who's odd.
    Your post has made me remember who I am and what I like to do. I spend a lot of time making my house my home and building relationships with my family and I really do love nothing more than enjoying what I have. It's okay to be like this :)

    Thank you
    Xxx

    P's.
    I love your little Ralphie, I used to have a lionhead called Miffy, he was a cutie Nd so cheeky. Now I have a netherland dwarf Milo, he's a grumpy little thing but I love him :)

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    1. Exactly, you have to be true to yourself and spend your time how you want to. As long as you're happy that's all that matters! Aww so cute, Ralphie's a grumpy little thing so I think he and Milo would get along! xo

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  24. This is such a lovely an inspiring post, thank you!

    I'm yet to figure out which ways of spending my free time make me the happiest though: sometimes it's one thing and then other times a completely different one. But I guess that's okay too; maybe I'm actually an ambivert – there has to be a reason for such a term to exist, after all!.

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  25. I think you just spoke from my heart Jen xx

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  26. *High Five* back at you! Wouldn't the world be a boring place if we were all the same! So why do some people think we should conform and all fit in the same box?! I too thought I would leave those people behind when I left school but, sadly, have realised that we encounter them everyday. Thanks for this post Jenny it has reminded me that we aren't all the same and there is no shame in that x

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