H O M E .      A B O U T .      C O N T A C T .      T U M B L R .      T H E   B O O K   J O U R N A L .      sailorjennie [at] gmail [dot] com

Monday, 29 July 2013

On being kind, being supportive and being yourself!

It was over three years ago now that I took a deep breath and hit publish on my very first blog post. I was nervous and excited and hopeful all at the same time. Many, many months prior I had discovered the beauty community, busy with ideas, inspiration and love that I had never even thought to look for. After looking in from the outside, I decided I really would love to be involved, to be a real part of it.

Even on that very first post, one sentence full of nervous words, it felt like giving a speech in assembly to the whole school or having to introduce myself to a group of people who were already the best of friends, even though I thought no one was going to read it. But some people did read it, and best of all? They left a little comment, they outstretched their hand to shake mine and say hello, welcomed me in, took my coat and offered me a cup of tea. I was thrilled, I had a huge smile on my face because I felt welcome, like this was the place I belonged.
I'm not exactly sure when I felt things begin to change a little. The odd not-so-nice comment would begin to pop up.
'Oh you look like you've gained a few pounds, have you?' 
'Oh, actually, well, that lipstick that makes you feel really pretty for the first time ever doesn't suit you as much as you think it does! Just thought I'd let you know!' 
'haha your glasses are funny!!' 
Thankfully they came at a time where I felt pretty comfortable in my own skin, if they had happened at the start, I think it's pretty safe to say I would have been crushed and any confidence I had would have disappeared in an instant. I reached out to this community when I really needed a place to belong. I was so lonely, so so lonely, I felt like a real ugly duckling and I didn't know what on earth I was going to do with my life or which path to take. And that's why I think it's important to welcome everyone in, because they might really need the love and support just like I did. I hate to think of anyone feeling excluded because that's not what this should be about. It's for everyone who wants to be here.

I suppose I will always look back at that time with a little nostalgia. There were no 'rules' (I still don't think there are, please always write about whatever it is you want to!), advice was always there if you needed or wanted it, but if not there was always a friendly face there wishing you well and silently letting you know that everything was going to be okay.

It's important to remember that change isn't all bad. Change is inevitable and it's so important to embrace it. Those lovely people, like those who welcomed me in, are still here, they always will be. Sometimes you have to navigate your way through a little surface negativity before you find them, but they are there, I promise. You're not going to click with everyone, just like in any walk of life there will be people that you just don't really like and people that won't like you - just remember that that's okay! Take other opinions on board because you might learn to see something from an entirely different perspective, but do filter out the things that are just plain rude, that's much more a reflection on them than it is on you!

I think what I'm trying to get at here (I'm not even entirely sure if I'm honest, sometimes I just like to sit and write) is that it's so important to stay true to yourself, always, be it online or in everyday life. And to be kind, please be kind and try to see the good in everyone. In terms of the bloggersphere, it really doesn't matter if you don't have the fanciest layout, if you take pictures solely using your phone, if you sometimes make spelling mistakes or if your posts don't always fit into the same category. In the long run, none of that really matters. What matters is YOU, and if you want to do something, write about something or put yourself out there, then absolutely DO IT and there will always be someone along the way that would love to give you a helping hand if you need it. And if you love what you're doing, keep doing it because it doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. Honestly, it doesn't!

I have a few adverts on my page because it really helps me out. M and I bicker about silly things, our relationship isn't perfect and neither is anyone else's. Sometimes I want to pretend a little bit that everything is wonderful because it helps me to get through a rough patch by solely focusing on the positives. Sometimes I like to talk about the things that are bothering me because I'd like a little bit of advice or a shoulder to cry on and sometimes I like to keep things to myself. Sometimes I accept a few PR samples because I like trying new things and I enjoy writing reviews. Sometimes I want to write about make up every day for a week and sometimes I don't want to write about it at all. Your space is about you and how YOU want to use it. You don't have to justify it or explain it, ever.

Sometimes that little pang of jealousy unexpectedly smacks me across the forehead, sometimes for really silly reasons! If someone goes on a really beautiful holiday, if someone gets gifted something I would have loved to have been offered or if someone posts a picture of a really amazing ice cream they ate last week. Yep, that really happened on a day I was especially hungry & I'd just realised that ice cream was making my skin bad, ultimate sad face! Whenever that happens though I give myself a little talking to and get on with my day while wishing that person well for having that amazing experience. Supporting fellow bloggers is something I think is so important, not punishing them for being successful or finding a nicer ice cream van than me! They may be able to have that Mr Whippy with a flake, but I can still find a yummy ice lolly in there somewhere. Odd analogy there, but I hope it sort of make's sense!

Be kind, be supportive, be yourself, never take yourself too seriously and be positive. Good things are sure to come your way. If you ever need a helping hand, or just someone to talk to I'm always just an email away and I will try my very best to help as much as I possibly can!

xoxo

112 comments:

  1. This made me smile just when I needed it!

    www.xadelledax.blogspot.com.au

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aaw, Jennie! You are such a sweet and kind person. I think that's one of the reasons people love your blog so so much - you're genuine and you really care about your readers. I totally agree with the things you've talked about here. I'm a little sick of these so-called blogging 'rules' that have sprung up lately, it's all a little condescending really. I think people should be able to blog about whatever they want and not be made to feel bad about themselves! It's always nice to get advice, but often people can be very judgemental and then I think it just gets a little over the top.

    Thank you for your lovely, honest, and relatable posts! I'm sure it helps a lot of us out :) xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thank you so much! There are definitely no rules, blogging would be super dull if everyone did the same thing! xo

      Delete
  3. I love this :) very true.

    Lots of love
    Nafisah xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jennie posts like this are why I love your blog. You speak from the heart.
    Sophie
    x

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is some very good advice. I love that there are no rules. I write about the things I like, when I like and I would hate for it to be any other way. Imagine if blogging was more like a job - for me I think all of the fun would be lost.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is something I needed just now, because while I love blogging, it kind of feels that I'm writing just for myself now, and no one really reads. Thank you, Jennie! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brilliant post, Jennie! x

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is such a lovely post. As someone who's really keen to get into the blogging world, it's really reassuring and encouraging! Keep up all the hard work! Ria.x

    ReplyDelete
  9. This post came just at the right time!!! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Such a lovely post and great advise! As I'm new to this whole world it's nice to know I'm not he only one worried about things, when I posed my first post I had no idea if people would like it or where my blog would take me but I love doing it and love finding new people and meet new friends :) English was never my strong point so starting a blog was a massive deal for me! The support I have received has been amazing and I am so grateful for it :)

    Katie xx
    katiesworld13.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh absolutely, sometimes I still get a little nervous posting certain things, but I think it's good to push yourself and try new things! I absolutely love your blog so I'm super happy you decided to start! <3 xo

      Delete
  11. Lovely post :) I completely agree :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love this post, so nice and uplifting. You seem like such a lovely genuine person x

    ReplyDelete
  13. lovely when i post like this comes up at just the right time in your current situation in life. very uplifting and inspiring and i hope you continue to be yourself and embrace who you are because we all like you just as you are xx

    Katie-Louise | foreverwaiting.co.uk 

    ReplyDelete
  14. Another lovely post from you Jennie! Your words come straight from your heart :) x

    ReplyDelete
  15. wonderful post!I totally agree with being yourself and doing something because you love it! xx
    Zoe | Sweet Electric

    ReplyDelete
  16. Such a lovely post! You are a genuinely wonderful person, and I love your blog. The photos in this post are also beautiful.

    Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Such a lovely, true post. Thank you for sharing this, Jennie - I think it's something a lot of people need to remember.
    You always come across as such a kind, thoughtful person in your posts and visiting your blog is like a little breath of fresh air into the day :)

    Jess xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, that really means a lot <3

      Delete
  18. This is such a beautiful post - your words are kind and the photography is amazing.

    Nicola:
    CurlandPearls | Bloglovin’
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lovely post, you're such a lovely person!
    Danielle xo

    opheliaevernote.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi Jennie,

    you have a wonderful blog. I can see that you spend a lot of time on it. I just recently got into blogging. Early days lol. But its nice to know that with a lot of hard work it can be done. some day I hope to get the kind of following you have. TC

    http://getperfectskin.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  21. Your posts always make me smile, you're so lovely! One of the reasons I love your blog is because its such a mixture of everything I enjoy reading about :) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, that means the world to hear that! <3

      Delete
  22. you always write the sweetest posts... i totally agree with being kind and being yourself. and i'm always here too as a reader & friend of yours in this massive blogosphere! :)

    rachel x
    www.blushandbrunch.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. it's so important to be kind and support one another. people can be so passive aggressive and cruel in the name ofbeing honest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, I think being supportive is so important <3

      Delete
  24. I love this post and I really agree with all of the points you've made. Blogging is such a personal things and I love that everyone's blog is different and unique to them. :)
    Rosalie x
    RosalieJayne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, it's what makes blogging so exciting <3

      Delete
  25. Loved reading this post! You're such a lovely person.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  26. you are such a sweetheart Jennie x

    ReplyDelete
  27. What a lovely post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! Your blog has always been one of my favorites :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. I just discovered your lovely blog and my first read was this post, so wonderfully put together, truthful and meaningful. The blogging community has really restored my faith in women and how supportive and lovely they can be as opposed to the catty, negative and quite frankly jealous individuals I've had a lot of experience with. It's a shame really, I don't understand why people can't speak to other in a way they'd expect to be spoken to themselves!


    Elizabeth x

    www.candyflosscurlscupcakesandcouture.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for stopping by & leaving your thoughts! I completely agree, I think it's important to treat people the way you'd want to be treated <3

      Delete
  29. I love this post, it i really true and can tell its written from the heart. You gave great advice and it was put across beautifully. I,myself have started publishing blog posts recently, would love it if you checked my blog out.
    Would love to hear your advice!

    Eloise | http://simplynaturale.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  30. This is such a lovely post and something I can really relate to!
    Lovely post sweet!
    :)

    Emily / Glittery Teacups

    ReplyDelete
  31. "And that's why I think it's important to welcome everyone in, because they might really need the love and support just like I did."

    Reading this almost brought me to tears because I remember when I started my blog, how incredibly nice and supportive you were! You are one of a kind, lady. You're amazing! xxxxx

    ferdies-place.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. Lovely post, Jennie, and very wise as usual! xx

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love the quote and your photos sooo much! X Anna

    www.fashionanna.com

    ReplyDelete
  34. I love this post so much! There's so much competition in the blog world now and I think sometimes it's losing it's great sense of community and friendship. As for horrible comments, I just don't get it...what happened to 'if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all?' xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If everyone lived by that rule, the world would be a nicer place <3

      Delete
  35. I really enjoy reading your blog and I am glad that you have come into your own. Negative words do hurt but as long as you know they are not true, you will stand tall. Keep doing what you are doing as it is a great job.

    Lou
    www.thekeypieces.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  36. This post is so beautifully written it brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to have you feel in so many ways and cannot comprehend how people can be so unkind sometimes.

    The most important thing anyone can do is just to be the best person they can be.

    Such a wonderful post

    Erin, xx

    http://strawcherry21.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's super important, I agree <3

      Delete
  37. I don't know how you do it but every time I need words of support you make a post like this. Just yesterday I was feeling down about my blog and seriously thinking about shutting it down even though it has been the only constant thing in my life for last three years. I feel like this community is getting a little bit lost and focusing on wrong things but people like you reassure me. I don't get nasty comments purely because I'm too small and there is not too much to be jealous about but I find it ridiculous that some 'readers' use success as right to be awful to bloggers. Stay strong Jennie :)xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as you enjoy it, keep going! <3

      Delete
  38. you are so lovely so i can't handle this <3
    http://coeursdefoxes.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  39. This post is so true, about everything! And don't forget that even when people leave mean comments, they're probably only doing it because they've got nothing better to do with their lives. Never take things like that to heart, just laugh it off and they won't know what's hit them. I think everyone gets comments like that from time to time, I personally just delete them - they were a little hard hitting at first because I thought, well how could someone be so mean for no reason? But then I realised that they're only keyboard warriors at the end of the day. Just smile and live the life you want to lead and everything will fall into place! x

    The Little Things

    ReplyDelete
  40. Oh my christ, who the hell would say things like that in comments to bloggers? I have to be honest, I'm very self conscious about what I put on my blog, photowise.. as I have awful self esteem, so the slightest comment from someone would end up ruining my world, dramatic I know! You really are amazing though Jennie.. you're so clever, and inspirational and damn right beautiful <3 xxx

    Gemma | ♥ Miss Makeup Magpie ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have absolutely no reason to be, lovely lady! <3

      Delete
  41. Aw what a lovely post and all oh so true. Fortunately I've managed to evade the nasty comments so far and have seen nothing but nice friendly beautiful bloggers like you :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  42. What a thoughtful post. I can't believe people would leave horrible comments like that- what is wring with them? If you have nothing nice to say don't say it!
    Your posts are always so nice with lovely photos. I haven't had any nasty comments yet but I have quite a low readership

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you never get a nasty comment, you're lovely! Xo

      Delete
  43. "What Sally says of Suzy, says far more of Sally than of Suzy". Just a little quite I saw a few weeks ago which I think fits pretty well with what you say about nasty comments! They just aren't worth spending time getting upset over.
    I must agree when you say that everyone should feel free to write what they want to - I've seen bloggers worrying on Twitter far too many times about whether someone will 'mind' if they dare to post something non-beauty related or whatever, and it always leaves me incredulous - nobody is going to unfollow anyone for posting something a bit different, and if they are then they are foolish. I think that for the most part, people enjoy a bit of variety, and the chance to get to know the blogger behind the blog a bit better. I know I do.
    Mel xx

    melswallofmirrors.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree with that quote, it's so true! xo

      Delete
  44. What a lovely sentiment, if only the world was filled with people who thought the same. Sorry to hear you've been under fire from such horrible comments, but hopefully the nice ones by far outweigh the bad ones, and mean so much more too. Any jealous hater can post poison, but kind words come from the heart.
    Claire, from agentsmythblog.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

  45. Love your blog sooo much, such a nice post too, makes a girl very happy :)

    Also love your little Ralphie, bunnies are so sweet xox

    ReplyDelete
  46. So far I've been lucky to swerve any negativity on my blog but it's such a shame that some people spoil it but as you've rightly said what they say isn't important. It always fascinates how people find the time to waste commenting abuse online - I struggle to comment on the blogs I do enjoy and anything that doesn't take my fancy gets skipped over.

    Victoria x
    FlorenceandMary.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really fascinates me too! xo

      Delete
  47. Ahh this is so lovely, great post!

    dontcrycowboy

    ReplyDelete
  48. I really hate reading that people have had horrible comments, it makes me so angry and sad :( I love that you didn't let it get to you and let your blog carry on growing, and changing. It's one of my absolute faves xx

    ReplyDelete
  49. You post really touched me hun. You are so sweet! True supporters never leave :) x x

    ReplyDelete
  50. ah, such an inspiring post! you are such a kind hearted person.

    lindsey louise

    hellomrrabbitblog.com

    ReplyDelete
  51. "Good things are sure to come your way" - can I get a timescale on that please?

    Kisa.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Hi, Jennie! This is a really lovely post indeed. With more traffic and exposure on the Internet comes the downside of rude, negative people who aren't even constructive in their criticism and find it okay to hurt others even if they don't even know them. Thankfully, like you said, there is a lot of good on the bloggersphere. There are people willing to go out of their way to help you and be supportive and that is beautiful.

    I love your attitude towards your blog and always have. It's your space and it reflects YOU. There's no need to apologize for long posts or ask for permission when going "off topic". I wish other people would see that and realize they should write about what makes them happy and not about what they think others want to see. :)

    Have a lovely weekend xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much lovely. I completely agree, it's so important to be true to yourself and write about what makes you happy! <3

      Delete
  53. Jennie, this is such a nice post! I agree with you, lifestyle blogging can be a tricky thing because we tend to focus on the positive things (with good reason!), and the truth is that no one leads a flawless life. I've found the blogging community to be such a supportive place, and it makes me sad that people would go out of their way to leave gratuitous negative comments. I love that your blog is such a positive and honest place!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Ahhh Jennie, this is a fab post! Your blog is one of the very first I stumbled on when looking for beauty blogs and I have stuck with it ever since because it is just so good. I love whenever bloglovin' tells me you have put a new post up, for me it is like sitting down and having a chat with an old friend :) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww that means the world, thank you! xo

      Delete
  55. A lovely post.

    Yes, be yourself. Always.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for reading! I love when you leave your thoughts so I would love if you left me a little comment, I read every single one, they mean so much and I try my very best to reply to each one!

You are very welcome to leave a link to your blog in your comment, but please just leave one link and I ask you not to promote giveaways. Thank you for understanding. With love, Jennie May xo