I've made no secret that I've been feeling all out of sorts and much to my relief I'm not alone. If you've emailed me or left a comment on my last post - thank you, so much! You took some of the weight off my shoulders, a problem shared is a problem halved, or so they say anyway. A good friend of mine suggested I scribble a few things down that I would like to do either over the course of or at some point in my life, they said I'd have to wait for a moment for the fog to clear but that I would know when the time was right. That moment was this morning and I thought it might be nice to share just a few things from my list, in the hopes that you might share something from yours in a comment below.
01. Read more books.
This one hit me at approximately 2am last night and I immediately opened a Good Reads account. I haven't read a book because I wanted to read it in a very long time, partly because I've had to read a fair amount for University and partly because, well, I'm actually not sure. When I was younger I would read at every possible opportunity, but since the internet and all the distractions that come with it, I've barely read anything. There are so many books I want to read, so many I want to re-read and so many that right now I don't even know exist but I'll want to read when I discover them. I've really missed getting lost in another world, in another life, so it's time to fix that. First on my list is The Virgin Suicides, I've made a good start already, so if you need me today, that's where I'll be!
02. Get married.
One day, whenever the time is right. Somewhere quiet, somewhere secret, with just our parents there and as spontaneously as it's possible to be.
03. Own a sweet little cottage that's in the countryside but somewhere close to the sea.
I miss the sea even more than I ever thought possible, especially in the winter. The seaside in the winter is one of the most magical places, the grey mist and the salty air are good for the soul. If we're talking in dream home terms, I would love a little room I could set up a dark room in. Printing my own pictures is something I also miss terribly.
04. Have a family.
This is one of the things I am most excited about and incidentally, one of the things that terrifies me the most. I’m already excited to learn about them, learn what they like and what they don’t. How to make them smile and laugh. To celebrate all their milestones, making them feel like the most special person in the entire world. To protect them as much as possible. To read to them, to escape into these imaginary worlds to see where their own imaginations take them. Maybe they’ll want to write or teach or make art or work on films. Whatever they want to do and whoever they want to be, I hope I’ll be able to guide them, to give them the best start and teach them something that will stay with them as they grow. And I'll just apologise to them now for their terrible eyesight, but you know, glasses aren't that bad!
05. Write a book.
Now, I am most definitely not a writer, not by any stretch of the imagination. I haven't written a story since I was a child because there's been something holding me back. Often I am my own worst critic and I've never quite been able to put anything I was really proud of down on paper. A few weeks ago a couple of characters just popped into my head and they've been swimming around up there ever since. I'm hopeful about this one, even if no one else ever reads it when it's finished, just getting it finished is my goal.
If you would like to share one of your goals or dreams, that would be incredibly wonderful.