02. I've been spending a lot of time over the past few weeks or so, admittedly probably a little too much time, inside my own thoughts with my head in the clouds trying my very best to figure things out. Trying to figure out who I am, what I really want from life, which path I'm on and where it might possibly take me. I don't think I'm really any closer to figuring any of those things out and I'm not completely convinced I ever will or that I'm even supposed to. I partly think what's meant to be will be, but also that it's my responsibility to make my own destiny, nothing is going to happen if I just sit around waiting for it. Recently I've found myself coasting along, each day has been so similar it's almost as if they've blended into one, which is probably part of the reason why I can't quite get my head around the fact it's August already. I haven't had the drive or the inspiration to do anything, which makes me feel sad and in turn inspiration seems so far away. It's a bit of a vicious circle. I haven't wanted to do anything apart from stay at home, in my 'safe place', a place where nothing eventful ever really happens. There's nothing wrong with that, but when a day or so of that starts to become a week or two, I understand that needs to stop. I'm working on that.
03. Tomorrow I have to be a real grown up and I'm not looking forward to it at all. Tomorrow morning I have to go to the dentist. That appointment I made a few weeks ago has suddenly come around very quickly and I feel a bit sick at the thought of it. I've not been to the dentist for many years, which I know is terrible, but I'm completely terrified. The last time I went I had to have a filling, I remember it being super painful but I didn't want to make a fuss & my dentist was pretty abrupt with me. Not a fun experience so I decided that I simply wasn't going back. And I didn't. Fast forward 9 or so years, I know I need to go. I mean, I'll have to go at some point and I'd rather it be now (& accept that I'll have to have a filling or two & hopefully nothing more) than to wait a few years until something hurts or chips or falls out and I'll need some serious work doing. At this point I'm just hoping I don't burst into tears, I can do this, right?
04. Since switching laptops I've had adblock enabled without realising (proves my head has been firmly in the clouds recently), so I've not been seeing any adverts on any websites including my own. I make no secret of the fact that I'm with Glam Media, I do run adverts on my site and I'm still trying to get the balance just right. At the moment sometimes this includes a full page ad and I'm not completely sure how I feel about that. Sometimes I think it's a bit much, a bit intrusive almost but then other times I wonder how many of you also have adblock enabled on your browsers? It usually disappears with a page refresh afterall. Do full page modification adverts bother you? Do you read via bloglovin' and end up not really clicking through to blogs? Or is the content alone the thing you focus on when you're catching up on your favourite reads?
This has been such a disjointed post, I know I'll read back over this in a few months and think eek, I could have worded everything much better. August was supposed to be a month of posting daily, I was so excited but it's not something that can be forced, at least not successfully and I don't want to half-arse anything as much as I'm annoyed with myself for feeling this way. I think I need to take today, give myself a bit of a stern talking to and I'll see you soon!
I'd love to hear your thoughts on absolutely anything I've mentioned here.
I could really use a little advice.
I could really use a little advice.