H O M E .      A B O U T .      C O N T A C T .      T U M B L R .      T H E   B O O K   J O U R N A L .      sailorjennie [at] gmail [dot] com

Monday, 16 December 2013

The tale of too much coffee and distant memories.

This time last year I hated coffee. To me it was always far to strong and never quite sweet enough, no matter how much sugar I spooned into it. Now it's an entirely different story and I can't seem to function at all without my morning cup of the good stuff. That can't be a good thing but I'm not sure I want to give it up just yet. When I was a teenager I always thought that the day I started liking coffee would be the day I was officially getting older. I had been trying to reassure my present self that my teenage self was just totally wrong, but my back really aches today and I made an old person noise as I was trying to get out of bed so now I'm not so sure.

Last night I had a very bizarre dream and from somewhere in the very depths of my mind, someone who I haven't seen for years and years made a cameo appearance. It's funny how the mind works. It thinks of things you haven't thought of in the longest time and transports them to the forefront of your mind, on an unassuming Monday when you simply weren't expecting it. Sometimes I remember things wrong, or two separate memories get merged together when they really had nothing to do with each other, so I'm left wondering if what I'm remembering ever really happened. And then of course those thoughts are nigh on impossible to forget. Oh life. This is all too much for a Monday afternoon!

So this afternoon I'm left thinking if it's possible to miss someone you never really knew very well in the first place. Perhaps I'm just feeling particularly nostalgic for that particular point in my life. Or maybe I just miss the idea of them & the particular way that I have remembered them & our friendship. They won't be the same now as they were then. And maybe they were never really like that at all. Our paths crossed at a very specific point, for the briefest of moments and although I don't know why, I think that's just exactly how it was supposed to be....

Love, Jennie 
xoxo

50 comments:

  1. Interesting post Jennie, and quite eery you had a dream like that but as you say perhaps it was nostalgia!

    It's sad sometimes that friendships don't last and sometimes I get nostalgic for times gone by. <3

    Sophie xox soinspo

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    1. It was an odd one, has definitely got me thinking today although I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing! xo

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  2. I know its probably not the main point of the post, but I too love coffee but also resent it for making me feel like a grown up..

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    1. Coffee is so good yet so bad haha! xo

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  3. Oh my, what a weird coincidence. I wouldn't touch coffee last year but now I love it and drink it all the time, I always put coffee with growing up also. Although, even though I'm a coffee fan I'm still a jumping in puddles, going on swings fan, so not sure on this theory...Some people I used to know seem to pop into my head on random occasions, usually when I'm feeling a serious case of nostalgia x

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    1. Puddle jumping is the best, never too old for that! <3

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  4. I seem to spend a lot of my time missing people who weren't actually the way I remember them - memories sometimes just pick out the picture perfect highlights of that person, which can lead to you missing them and wondering why they aren't part of your life any more when actually, they weren't as good as the "good parts" and there's probably a very good reason why they aren't.. Hope you're ok x x

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    1. I think that's definitely the case. I'm okay sweet, hope you are too! xo

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  5. I've had dreams like that and it does make you think back a lot doesn't it?
    Perhaps it was nostalgia or just because it's Monday.

    Caitlin
    www.atgatsbys.blogspot.com

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    1. Definitely blaming monday morning and nostalgia! xo

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  6. It's funny how dreams can sneak up on you like that, I know the feeling! xx

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  7. This is a lovely post, Jennie, and beautifully written (as always!). Thank you for sharing.
    I laughed out loud at the "old person noise" - that sounds exactly like me!

    Jess xo

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    1. Thank you sweet. Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one! xo

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  8. welcome to the dark side. the coffee drinkers

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  9. I love coffee, so much, I love it at night too ;)
    I have moments where I get stuck in the past, I worry a lot and I often worry about what I have said to others, or ways I could have done differently, but at the moment I am looking forward, forward to the future!

    Cornelia - Ineffable Beauty

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    1. Ohh gosh, you're brave! I don't think I'd ever sleep if I did that!! x

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  10. I have funny dreams like that sometimes too, but I'm generally extremely nostalgic about such a lot of things! Even the smallest of things I can find myself pining for. I'm still not 100% convinced by coffee, it has so have some sort of sweet syrup flavouring! <3 xxx

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  11. My mind works in strange ways, I'm always dreaming about things that happened years ago and people I have seen in forever. How strange our memories are. I agree with you, I think we move on from people naturally and exactly when it's time to move on.

    Gold Dust
    x

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    1. Absolutely, I think we know when the time is right even if we may not entirely understand why! xo

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  12. I can connect with this post a lot. Once I met a really nice guy and the first time we met, we fell asleep next to each other (long story cut short)- I haven't seen him in years, yet still I am sometimes dreaming of him. Brainy nostalgia, maybe? :)

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    1. He sounds like he meant a lot to you at that time, I think it's only natural to look back at that point with fond memories. Treasure those <3

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  13. I become a truly horrible person without coffee so am in definite support of a morning coffee! I agree about missing people you never really knew that well. I started missing out schoolfriend's recently, but I think it's more about the nostalgia of being at school as opposed to the actual person in question. However, I'm sure if I went back to that time, I would rather be back where I am now! x

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    1. Oh absolutely, it's nice to look back fondly but I'm not sure I'd willingly go back and relive it all over again! xo

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  14. I used to hate coffee, actually I didn't even get what was the big deal with drinking coffee at all. To me it was some bitter black fluid that I didn't even smell good to me. Of course everything changed when I started university and realized that coffee can't be just black, yup I don't drink my coffee black, I mix it with cream, with milk, with sugar, sometimes everything at once. But that's the fun thing about coffee, you can fix it the way you want it. And you may be totally right that liking coffee is somehow to getting older. I remember the days when I slept till noon, why would I drink coffee then, so I can go to bed even later? Now with more responsibilities facing us, university, work, other important thing we have to wake up early and honestly I can't function properly without the beautiful thing that is coffee.

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    1. I know those feelings very well! xo

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  15. The mind really is a deep place, I dream of all sorts and wonder where on earth that has been dug up from.
    I'm not too keen on coffee myself, I'm sure I'll slip into it one of these days.
    Amy x A Little Boat Sailing

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    1. It's so strange suddenly remembering something you had forgotten for years! xo

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  16. I used to detest coffee! The aroma, the bitter taste, it really did make me gag. I love the stuff now! However, I am still a little picky with it, I can't stand the type that tastes of burnt toast. Illy are by far my fave brand! The rich smooth taste... Gosh, I could do with one of those right about now.

    Halima
    Fashionicide // Fashion, with a difference
    xo

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    1. Ohh gosh, now I'm craving it hehe! xo

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  17. I get that strange sense of loss a lot because even when I still lived in Scotland I moved far away from where I grew up and the people there as soon as it was time to go to University and not long after my parents moved so I never see them any more. People I went to school with, people who were friends but not best friends. I often think if we lived in the same place I might still be friends with those people and it's weird to think that choosing different locations, different paths in life have separated us.

    I guess that's what the world's all about though!

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    1. Absolutely! Life is a funny ol' thing sometimes, we're all on our different paths and sometimes they cross and sometimes they drift apart! xo

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  18. That’s so true about coffee, I have often thought the same associating it with getting old. I still don’t like coffee so hopefully that makes me young? I most certainly could do with cutting down on the coke zero though. I can totally relate to what you wrote about dreams, I think that describes the mind very well. I definitely think you can miss someone you never really knew.

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    1. You're always as young as you feel! :) xo

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  19. I totally understand how you feel when waking up from the dream like that. Don't you think dream can effect on our feelings as well? I had such a horrible dream last night ever bc I dreamt that my bf slept with another girl and I was like shit... However, dont let the dream ruins your day dear :) xx

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    1. Oh absolutely, I had a bit of an odd day yesterday and I blame the dream entirely! Ohh no, that's not a nice dream to have at all <3 <3

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  20. I think it's definitely possible to miss someone you may not have known at all - a lot of the feelings that we attach to other people can be more about ourselves than the other person. It's natural and human. That's why "love" can be so complex I think, because it's hard to see through the illusion of how we see the other person as coloured by our judgments, whether objectively true or not.

    As for coffee, I love the stuff but I realise because I always order full fat milk, it's probably really fattening. And dehydrating. And appetite-suppressing. And occasionally I wonder if I suffer some mild form of lactose-intolerance :p

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    1. I think you're totally right, more about that time and place rather than the individuals.Thank you for leaving such a wise comment, you've helped me think a little clearer today!

      Ohh it's so good but so so bad at the same time hehe! xo

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  21. I got into coffee during my first year at Uni, wasn't too much of a fan until I started my work placement over a year ago and drank about 4 cups a day =S (what can I say the coffee was free!). Now I'm back at Uni, I've managed to cut down but I probably can't go more than a day or two without a cup...which sounds really bad now that I see it written down...
    I'm feeling weirdly nostalgic lately too. There's been some big news surrounding old school friends that's making me feel far too grown up, it's feels really weird (anywho rambling! Aha!) xoxo

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    1. Free coffee sounds amazing yet so bad at the same time, I think I would have indulged in one too many too! xo

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  22. I've been going without coffee lately because I'm recovering from a bad cold, and I definitely feel a lot less awake than usual! I just love waking up to the smell of coffee... espresso is even better :) I can relate to the feeling of missing someone you don't know very well -- I do think it's related to nostalgia for a particular time/place!

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    1. Oh noo, I hope you feel better soon <3

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  23. suddenly feel oh so nostalgic reading your post. intersections and encounters are often so fleeting yet the most simple ones can be so meaningful.... hmm. love this post. good food for thought to kick off my morning. :)

    xoxo hobovogue.com . ღ

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    1. It's sometimes odd how fleeting encounters can stay with you for ever <3

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  24. I adore coffee, I've already had 3 cups today oops!
    I usually miss people, but I miss how I viewed them and it hurts to know they're not who I thought they were!

    Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

    xx

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  25. I go very much on the thought that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime but it doesn't mean that just because they were in our life so briefly that they didn't impact hugely x

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