About six months ago I remember getting a comment telling me that I'd changed and initially I felt a bit taken aback, but after thinking about it I thought, well of course I have! As we grow it's natural to start to like different things, for priorities to change as you learn new things about yourself, where you're heading in life and your aspirations. It's part of life. I am so different in many ways to who I was three years ago when I first started blogging, but ultimately I'm still me. I'm Jennie, I'm still shy, I'm still trying to find my way in life, I'm still a little bit chubby. There are things about me that I'm pretty sure will always stay the same, but I hope the things that are different are positive changes.
|I've made a mental note to grow my hair out again, long layers are the best, perhaps not such an extreme side parting though ;) Also lose 14 lbs - work in progress!|
Three years ago I was super lonely in my 'in real life' life, I'd just found YouTube and I was watching all these beautiful beauty gurus with incredible make up collections and I wanted that too. I wanted the fancy dressing table, the drawers of make up, and the lifestyle that these girls had; they seemed so confident and secure with millions of friends. Now I'm a little older I can appreciate that what one portrays isn't always, and probably shouldn't be, a complete representation of their life, but that's a whole other post entirely. I started a blog talking about make up and I loved it for a really long time. Three years on and now I almost feel like I can't keep up. I don't have the disposable income to buy new things all the time and there are lovely ladies doing a better job than I could ever hope to; Lipglossiping, The Beauty Milk & Gh0stparties to name just a few of my favourites. Don't get me wrong, I still love make up, skin care and clothes, I love talking about them and that will never ever stop, but now there are different things that I like to talk about too. That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, I'm just more content than I ever have been at any other point in my life before and from that I feel more confident in sharing more. In the last three years I moved for the first time in my life, I own a home and I'm about to set up my own photography business that I'm crossing my fingers will work out. My life before was a little empty and now, mostly thanks to blogging, it's full of new and exciting things.
Over recent months I've been writing more personal posts because I wanted to. For the longest time I was writing things because I thought that's what people wanted to read and not because I wanted to write them. That was all wrong and from that all I was left with was a a bunch of forced posts that weren't interesting, helpful or fun to read. I needed to change things up and started to write about things in my life, things I wanted to remember, almost like an online diary. And I loved it, so I carried on. Sometimes I don't want to write about lipstick and sometimes I do, so now sometimes I do write about lipstick and sometimes I write about something completely different. Of course I know that not everyone wants to know about my life and I totally understand if you want to unsubscribe completely because not every update is going to be about beauty. That's okay because I never want you to feel obliged to read what I'm writing because you're not! It's been incredible to have you come along on this journey with me so far and I'd love you to stay, but you don't have to.
As I've grown up I've learned that you don't need to fit into a certain category if you don't want to and when I finally realised that I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. You can want to study science and art, you can listen to Rihanna and Nirvana and you can wear a pretty dress one day and ripped jeans & a band tee the next. You can want to be a ballerina and a doctor, you can like wild nights out and cosy nights in and you can like cats and dogs. Those were terrible examples, but you get my point, right? You can be anyone you want to be and you can change your mind as many times as you want!
There will always be those people in your life that would prefer you to do this or that, but I think the most important thing to think about is what you want to do. If you're not happy, then your heart won't be in it and you can get trapped in an endless cycle of feeling like there's something missing. If there's something you want to change in your life, do it! Finding the courage & motivation to change is half the battle so if you have that, you're already half way there. If you want to start a blog, do it, write about what you want to write about and don't listen if anyone says mean things. If your parents want you to be a lawyer but you want to be a fashion designer, show them some of your work and how talented and passionate you are about it. If you don't want to go to University, make real plans to do something else instead and work really hard. There's no secret to being successful, you just have to work really hard at something you love and hope that Lady Luck is smiling down on you. Always always always do what makes you happy, because life is far too short not to follow your dreams.
Change isn't always a bad thing. It's important to grow and to learn new things. Although it can be intimidating, embrace it because bigger and brighter things may come through it.