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Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Thoughts: on marriage after a conversation with a distant relative...

A conversation with a distant relative...

"...and how's Jennifer? Have you met anyone special?"
"Oh yes, I have a boyfriend."
"How lovely! And how long have you been together?"
"Oh..err.. it'll be 6 years this year."
*eyes flicker to my ring finger*
"Oh, no ring yet?"
*gives me a sad look*
*awkward smiles*

This seems to be becoming a bit of a regular occurrence and every time I find it incredibly bizarre! Marriage isn't really something I think about anymore other than after conversations like this. Are Mark and I going to get married one day? I don't know. And that's not because I think that I haven't found the right person, it's actually quite the opposite. I think if we're both fortunate enough to reach old age, we'll be sat next to each other in our rocking chairs making fun of each other like we always have done. It's something we joke about sometimes, you know, I'll send him a picture of a ridiculously big bigger-than-my-hand diamond with the caption 'I'll have this one please' and he'll meticulously describe an elaborate proposal featuring dancing bunnies and hundreds of people. But we've neither said we will definitely one day or we won't ever.

Whether it's because I've seen too many couples, who were very much in love, get married only to separate shortly afterwards or because I don't know what the word marriage means for us right now, I just don't think we want things to change. I mean, we're happy, we're doing okay. What if we get married and it prompts a change for the worse? I'm not especially religious (I don't think. Ahh faith, more questions that I find myself mulling over sometimes. I'm almost positive my head should have internally combusted by now with the amount of things going on in there!) and although Mark's family is, we don't go to church regularly so a religious service wouldn't be particularly appropriate for us, I don't think?

Being the centre of attention is pretty much my worst nightmare and combine that with only really wanting to have less than a handful of people there, it wouldn't be a big fancy occasion. I don't want the big fancy dress and we wouldn't want a huge elaborate venue or big party because it's just not us. We would spend the day shuffling around awkwardly, not really knowing what to do with ourselves and trying to make awkward small talk with distant relatives we don't really know very well. (He has the biggest family I've ever known!) 

Would getting married change our relationship, for good or bad? I don't know. Would I take his surname? I don't know, I'd have the worlds longest name if I did, especially because I'd like to keep my Mama's family name in there too. I like how things are right now.

And the truth is, I don't want him to get down on one knee and take out a box with a shiny ring inside, no matter how beautiful it is. I'd be completely terrified of losing something he had taken the time to choose out of all the rings in the world and then I'd be worried that if I did lose it, it would be some kind of bad omen and I'd worry about it constantly...for the rest of forever probably. I'm a bit like that. Crazy. I also have a bit of an irrational phobia of wearing two rings on the same finger and I do kind of already have the wedding band that I would like all picked out and stored in my head (- and yes I know that's incredibly ironic for someone who doesn't even know if she ever wants to get married at all. I'm a walking contradiction to my own thoughts!)

But mostly I'd find the whole thing much more romantic if he just turned to me one day, completely out of the blue, and said "...so...want to go and get married sometime?"

Right now I'm mostly thinking that it's something that will either feel appropriate (that's not the right word, but you know?) at a particular point or it won't and we'll just carry on as we are. And I think I'd be okay with that. Either way. Fate? Destiny? Who knows?! I think it's quite clear after all of this that I certainly have no idea!

***

And then of course there's the continuation of the conversation as if the first set of awkward smiles weren't bad enough...

"So...when will a miniature Jennifer & Mark be arriving?"
*eager looks*

....and that's a whole other set of thoughts mostly involving 'how on earth can we possibly ever be responsible/good/mature/smart/sensible enough to guide another human, who we would be solely responsible for, into adulthood and do it well when we're not really sure what we're doing ourselves most of the time?!' Even though I secretly think he would be a wonderful father. It's more my own abilities that I doubt on this occasion.

But I'll leave that one for another day... ;)

Love, Jennie
xoxo


P.S. None of this is to say that I don't understand the concept of marriage at all. I actually think it's a really beautiful thing. Neither to I begrudge or in any way look down on anyone that does want a big, beautiful wedding day or romantic proposal so they can celebrate their love in front of their family and close friends. I think marriage is such a personal thing and is ultimately something that will vary infinitely from couple to couple. I'm just trying to figure out what it means to me and if it's something that's right for me/us.

94 comments:

  1. Really interesting post, Jennie! This'll make you chuckle - I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and my godmother is already planning my wedding *gulps*! x

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    1. My boyfriend and I will have been together a year on Saturday. Last time I saw my godmother (who hasn't actually met my boyfriend yet), she informed me she wants me to get married soon because she wants to wear a big hat at my wedding. Also, I should get married at Christmas, because she likes winter weddings.
      So you're not alone!

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  2. What a great post. I am currently engaged (2 and a half years, been together 8 and a half) and am definitely ready now to get married. I completely understand what you are saying though and agree that marriage is something completely personal. It isn't for everyone and I don't think that anyone should be questioned about it all the time just because they are in a long term relationship. It's important that you do what you want, how you want. If that means getting married great. If it means never getting married that's great too.

    Debi x
    http://dibdabdebs.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. I feel the same about marriage, I don't have a boyfriend so that's one reason why marriage is not on the cards. But some of the other reasons are: I don't want to pay for it, I don't want to pick a dress out only to hate it and all of the pictures of me wearing it a year or so later, I don't want to be the centre of attention, I don't know enough people to have a big wedding, and I know too many to have a small wedding, I am not really religious. etc etc

    Saying that at somepoint in my life this might all change and I may be walking up an aisle to get a ring placed upon my finger, but right now its not one of my dreams.

    x

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    1. It's nice to have it as an option, but it's not something you have to do to be happy <3

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  4. Thanks for your honesty here, it still seems to be a bit of an odd discussion topic for people. I too think that marriage can be a really beautiful wonderful thing, I also think what "togetherness" and "relationship" mean is evolving. It's such a personal thing and for some people and some relationships, it is marriage, weddings, elaborate proposals and for some peoples it's not. That shouldn't mean their love is viewed as any less powerful or their relationship and commitment as any less true and real. I wish people didn't feel pressured, either way. You should be able to express your love and commitment how you want and if that's a big wedding, marriage, that's wonderful and if it's not, if it's something different, if it's opening up you're own bunny conservation gardens then that's wonderful too :) x

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    1. I completely agree, it's not something that's super important in order to be happy <3

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  5. I am love, love, loving these personal lifestyle posts Jennie! They really set you apart from all the usual blogging you see these days. I really hope to do more posts like this in the future, i'm just a little hesitant! You're right, marriage is personal to everyone and how you feel is neither wrong nor right because you should be allowed to feel how you'd like to without feeling judged. If you're happy how are right now, then don't be letting anyone tell you things should be any different (: Keeping happy in this life is a difficult one so if you've found something that does, then you go for it (:

    K xo

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    1. I loved this post too - like you, I wish I could write as openly as Jennie in my blog but I'm not quite brave enough!

      x

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    2. @Kathryn - Thank you lovely! I completely agree, it's important to be happy <3

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    3. @Laila - Aww, thank you! I think it's important to write about whatever you want as long as you're comfortable <3

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  6. I'm in a similar position but as a single girl whose friends are all marrying and having babies but I'm quite happy to do things in my own time, and ultimately when the time is right.

    Victoria
    FlorenceandMary.com

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    1. And that's absolutely the most important thing <3

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  7. I totally agree!! And after entering into a serious relationship with who I'm certain is 'the one' fairly recently I've been getting all sorts of people demanding marriage & babies from me & I feel like saying woah!! There's far too much pressure on people to settle down super young & I don't see why it has to be that way if we're not ready! A brilliant post as always Jennie xxxx

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  8. I find it strange that people still assume every one wants to get married. Marriage certainly isn't for every for everyone and speaking from experience it's bloody hard work. I think it's important to know if it's right for you or not. I knew that's what I wanted to do but a lot of my friends never want to get married even though they live together/are in long term relationships - but that's what makes them happy so who cares?!

    I hope you two are very happy - marriage or no marriage :)

    Gold Dust
    x

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    1. I completely agree! Thank you sweet <3

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  9. I always think that if I were to get married, I would tell everyone I was having a party, and when they arrived, tell them that it's actually a wedding. I know a plan like this is fraught with problems, but it would definitely take the pressure off!

    All of this is totally premature, mind you, as I am currently (perpetually) single! But I don't think I would want to do the big wedding thing either. As long as you are happy, that's all that matters. A wedding is one day, without it you can still be as committed to each other as you would be with the piece of paper!

    Great post :) xx

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    1. You'd save an absolute fortune doing it this way, Jane! There is such a mark-up on wedding stuff, and this way you wouldn't need to invite distant relatives if you don't want to!

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    2. @Jane - I think that sounds like a fabulous idea! xo

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  10. Ah, I pretty much feel the same way as you about this! I HATE being the centre of attention, honestly, sometimes I think a big wedding is as much about making a special day for the guests rather than the bride and groom. I actually think the whole thing would cause me to have a panic attack! I'd rather focus on the actually marriage aspect than the wedding thing! I understand that a wedding day is supposed to be special, but for me that's not what it's all about. It also really annoys me when people ask questions that are obviously going to make people feel uncomfortable, but it's almost like a social convention now! xxx

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    1. I know, I'd never dream of asking someone when they were getting married! xo

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  11. I felt the same about marriage for a very long time, until I met my husband, I think things do change and I really love your attitude about it. You don't need to have the huge 'get down on one knee' thing, my husband and I just decided to get married one day, registered and did it the next week in a small country house in the middle of downtown Toronto. I didn't get a ring then and we have simple wedding rings (Like you I was always scared of loosing it!) almost 5 years on I couldn't be happier, but then, if we didn't get married I don't think I would have been any less happy, I would have felt exactly the same. We did buy a ring last year, and it is amazing and I am no longer scared of loosening it as I still have my wedding ring!

    I wish people wouldn't ask questions like that, and about babies, I mean, would someone ask about you sex life? I just think it is such a personal question that has nothing to do with others, and when family ask its even worse as they would most likely be the first to know!
    Cornelia - Ineffable Beauty

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    1. Aww I'm so glad you're happy <3

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  12. Lovely post, Jennie - it's so interesting to almost see your thought processes here!
    I totally agree, marriage has never been something I'm aiming for in life, I was never the girl planning my wedding in high school because at the end of the day, if you love each other, what difference does it make!?
    I completely identify with your fear of losing The Ring (I lose jewellery almost as a hobby) and I can pretty much guarantee I'd trip over my dress, if we ever do end up getting married. We'll see ;)
    Oh, and just by the way, I think you'd make a wonderful Mummy! :)

    Jess xo

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    1. Ohh gosh I'd trip over my dress too hehe! Aww thank you, I'm not so sure about that!
      xo

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  13. Oh Jennie. It's like you and I are one person, just spell our names differently :P Ben and I will have been together for 9 years in April. Waaaaatt? And I turn thirty this year so had a massive wobbly a few months ago that everyone thinks we should be married with a kid by now. I do feel like I would like to get married now, but I want it to be right, like you. Not because he's felt the pressure of age and thinks 'I better just ask her'. The children thing petrifies me though. I know for a fact that I do not want them yet. I am happy just me, ben and pip, married or not married. but the question of kids is happening and I don't like it. Where on earth did the rules on life come from? you must be married and have kids before your thirty? well I'm breaking all of them at the moment, coz we certainly won't be married and unless I don't know it, there won't be any children either.

    Jenny | sunny sweet pea xx

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    1. Shut up you are not turning 30!!! xx

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  14. When you're ready you'll be ready. It's so awkward when they constantly ask…

    The Artistically Challenged: Beauty, Fashion, Music, Lifestyle Blog

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  15. I love this post :) I've been with my boyfriend 5 years and we get questions all the time, but just think slowwww down! I was only 16 when we got together, so we've done a levels, uni, first jobs, living together... what's the rush? You know you're happy together, so do what you like :)

    Sophie
    http://what-sophie-said.blogspot.co.uk/
    xxx

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  16. I 100% understand your frustration Jennie! Me & my boyfriend will have been together for 10yrs in May so quite a milestone. All the time we have friends and family making the not so subtle hints about marriage...nobody ever stops to actually ask whether you even want to get married, let alone care about how uncomfortable they make you feel! Annoooooying!!
    We are perfectly happy as we are and im not sure marriage will ever be on the agenda. Similarly to you i would much rather just spontaneously do it in Vegas or in a small no fuss ceremony - all the attention is my worst nightmare. We're hoping to start a family later this year and people can't seem to understand that we wouldn't like to be married first.
    Defending our decisions over and over is starting to wear a little thin! haha.....sorry for the rant, you've got me started now! ;P fab post!
    xoxo
    sparkle-bug.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Hehe I completely agree with everything! <3

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  17. Its amazing how pressing older relatives can be! There isn't anything wrong with just being together. No marriage needed. -Hanna Lei

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  18. i think it's great that you're thinking so much about marriage and what it means! i think the whole idea of marriage is so different these days... people seem so see it as a must-take step or something that we do "once it's about time." but above all else it really is crucial for the 2 people in the relationship to make sense of it and actually see a purpose in taking that big step. i've definitely been in your position too.. those same questions come up in both joking social contexts and more serious family ones, and my answer is always that i'm not ready. we're not ready. i've experienced/witnessed so many divorces growing up that the idea of marriage really terrifies me. as much as i'd love the big white dress and gorgeous flowers and celebration and all, only until the day i get that very very certain feeling (or if i ever do!), would i consider taking that big step...!!! xx

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    1. I completely agree! It's something that is wonderful but it's not something I think you have to do in order to be happy <3

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  19. Funnily enough, I was just posting about my wedding. (Dim and distant past, though!)

    I don't remember anyone asking me when I was going to get married, or when I was going to have a baby. Clearly I've been very fortunate in these things! I've been a Mum for 7 years and I still get panic-stricken moments when I realise that I'm in charge of a person. A small one, but still definitely a person. And I've got to mould him into a good person, too, as well as making time to check homework and stuff. My advice is, you'll never be 100% ready, so don't wait until you are as that day will never come! Also, don't delude yourself into thinking that you'll keep all the toys in one room--they will be everywhere. I woke up with a toy plane stuck to my back the other day.

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    1. Hehe! I've got enough of my boyfriends toys everywhere so I'm used to that haha! xo

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  20. I love being married but it is something everyone does differently. From their proposal to the planning, wedding itself & their timing. Ive been with my husband for 14 years & we get asked on a weekly basis, when are we planning to start a family & people even let me know that at 35 my clock it ticking!
    Just be in love & see your future together the rest will work itself out when the time is right x
    http://www.letstalkbeauty.co.uk/

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    1. I think that's so incredibly rude, I'd never dream of asking someone when they were having a baby just because they'd been together for a certain amount of time! People are crazy! xo

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  21. This is a really interesting post, I think that it's good that in this day and age we have the choice to do what feels right for us, rather than everyone following the same set path (I guess that statement applies to lots of things, not just marriage). I've had that kind of conversation with relatives before and it's so awkward, so I feel your pain! xx

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  22. I definitely agree with you about the whole marriage thing, I've never been one to think much about marriage and children, even when I was in a relationship for three years I was very aware that we're still only babies really. I'm too young to commit myself to someone else, whether it be a husband or a baby, when I don't know who I'm going to be or what I'm going to want in five years time. Whether I'll be in a position financially or emotionally to be a partner in someone's life or responsible for my very own little human being.
    I think far too much thought is attached to the disney-fied ideas of the romantic proposal, the big day, the happy ever after, than the real life commitments of having a family. I'm not saying I don't like the idea of committing myself to someone for life, or being a mummy, but only if I felt I could honestly look at myself at the mirror and tell myself I could do it for the rest of my life. Great post Jennie, I love it when people talk about these sort of things and give their outlooks.

    Bella . BELLAETC

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    1. I really agree, that kind of thing isn't for every couple at all! xo

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  23. Just do what feels right for you! I think a lot of older people can sometimes pressurize the younger generation into getting married and having kids quite early on in their lives but things are different nowadays. I don't really think things like this can be planned, if it's gonna happen it'll just happen naturally I think! (Wishful thinking from the girl who is forever single haha!) xxx

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    1. Times have definitely changed xo

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  24. Jennie you've just summed up so many of my own thoughts here! I actually am religious and I look at marriage as a religious thing but it's still not something I'm in a rush to do, and if I did it would certainly be not in the big white dress with more people than I'd be able to remember the names of. I just don't see the rush or the need for it to happen before a certain age or whatever. And don't even get me started on how not ready I'll ever be for kids!

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    1. I completely agree! Haha the prospect of children is insanely terrifying! xo

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  25. What a great post. It's good that you don't feel like you should be rushed into getting engaged/married, or even getting to that point at all. My boyfriend and I have been together just over 5 years and people are always asking us the same question - I also get asked when I'm going to have a baby, as I'm 28 and it seems like everyone thinks that's what I should be doing! I do want these things, of course, but it's not the be all and end all - there's no point in rushing. xx

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    1. Definitely! These things can't be rushed <3

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  26. Dean and I know we will get married in the next few years...we just haven't gotten around to him proposing or organising anything. I dread the though of planning a wedding again (been there and done that...very nearly got the t-shirt - story for another time!) I hated all the planning. We feel like we should be married before starting a family so thats the main reason we would get married - would it change our relationship? Not in the slightest, its just a piece of paper, a bit of extra jewellery and a big party at the end of the day I even suggetsed forgoing an engagement ring and just getting wedding bands.
    Some of my friends think that the way we look at it is really unromantic but for us its just one of those things we'll get around in the next few years xxx

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    1. It's totally different for every couple, all you can do is what's right for you <3

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  27. I really enjoyed this post. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that my parents aren't married (they're together, they've just never married) but I've personally never seen the point in marriage. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand why people DO want to get married but it's just never something I've seen for myself. I'm 100% to commit to someone, but what difference does it make to our relationship if I wear a ring or not?
    Spider Leg Lashes xo

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    1. I absolutely agree, it's totally okay to be together forever and not get married, it doesn't change anything <3

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  28. I've always thought I would get married but I know so many people who don't now because they are worried things might change! It's such a hard topic and lots of things to think about

    Katie xx | Katies World

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    1. Think it's something that varies a lot between couple to couple <3

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  29. I get this all the time, people just can't seem to understand that we are happy as we are! We have a house together which to me seems far more important than a marriage. A brilliant post as always xx

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    1. That's a huge commitment in itself! <3

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  30. Really interesting post!
    I get family members asking me all the time when/if I'm getting married to my boyfriend - and we've been together for not even 1 and a half years. There is no way to plan what will happen, you can never be certain of what the world holds. Just enjoy each day as it comes =)

    {Teffy's Perks} X

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    1. That's a wonderful way of looking at things! xo

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  31. What a great post, I loved reading this because it's not a topic that crops up enough in the blogging world and so this makes this post all the more special.

    The pressure is crazy, especially when it's such a personal thing for a couple to decide together! Personally the idea of a big wedding puts me off the whole idea when in theory, if it was a small, private ceremony I'd probably be quite interested one day if the timing was right. You hear so many stories about brides pushed to the edge from all the stress which is so sad. For me, I'd love to do it my own way, and not be pressurised by family etc.

    Whatever decision you make one day will be the right one for you both & it sounds like you're such a sweet, devoted couple which is so heart warming to see nowadays! <3

    Sophie | soinspo xo

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    1. I wouldn't like all the stress at all, small ceremonies can be so beautiful <3

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  32. I am married but I still agree with so much that you wrote. Marriage is not necessary. There are no rules on when or if couples should get married. It's beautiful that you've been together so long and people should be happy for you.

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  33. I can totally relate to this, I'll have been with my boyfriend for 6 years in march and I had so many people asking if I was getting a ring for christmasand then acting disappointed when I didn't, we've talked about marriage a lot but the idea of a wedding terrifies me I'm so unorganised and I hate being the centre of attention. I really hate the idea of a big fancy ring too as I'm super clumsy.

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    1. It's so crazy when other people feel it's okay to comment on these things like that! xo

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  34. What an interesting subject you're bringing here, I am enjoying your blog more and more everyday I must admit :)
    Is that relative over 40's? Not to judge by the age but sometimes I think older people have this idea that you must get married and have children to have a 'complete life'. Luckily younger generations are more open minded and we believe that marriage is not necessary in all cases in order to be happy and feel complete as person and as a couple.. One of my best friends is 100% positive she won't even get married just because she is not the 'type' that gets married...
    I mean, today there are so many ways to be in a serious relationship without having to sign papers. I also believe that marriage doesn't change anything if you have lived with a person long enough to think you know them and to accept them by who they are..
    Many thoughts here!!!

    xx

    http://holaflo.blogspot.com

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  35. I totally totally agree with all this - I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years so I get the same from relatives (particularly his family). The truth is, I just thing spending a fortune on one day - especially one that is going to be nothing but family dramas, is worth it. I don't need an expensive party to 'prive' I'm in love xxx

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  36. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 years, the family have just stopped asking when they need to buy a hat haha! If I won the lottery, we'd probably get married tomorrow. I've spent the past year joking about it but the truth is now just isn't the right time, we both know it'll happen one day. As for sprogs, golly! That's a terrifying thought although I would love some eventually. I want a small, intimate wedding. :)

    I don't think it's a big deal if you're happy as you are! Not everyone is destined to be a bridezilla.

    Tara x

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    1. Aww congratulations on 9 years lovely! <3

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  37. this is the thing about being in your twenties - everyone is somehow always curious about what's coming next, not where you are now. not in a relationship? people ask you why you're single. in a relationship? people ask you when you're tying the knot. married? people ask you when the babies will pop out. i only started living with E after we got married, and people were already asking about babies!! i don't believe it's anything personal, but that's just it - it IS personal, and people sometimes forget that. the most important thing is that you both are happy, and that's really all that matters. x

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    1. I would never dream of asking anyone those questions! It's crazy, not to mention noone's business! xo

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  38. This is exactly how I feel! It's especially frustrating adding to the fact his family is from england and mine in the US, mostly without passports. I've said several times I want the relationship/marriage not the wedding, but then what if I regret not having a wedding? So much to think about! I wish people would butt out and stop me doubting what I actually want, which it sounds like is happening to you as well.

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    1. It just got me thinking about what's right for us. To me, because I'm not religious it would pretty much just be a piece of paper. I feel like we can be committed to each other without needing to be married. xo

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  39. This was beautiful, thank you for sharing something so personal with us. After reading it I'm sure you'll be fine, you seem to have found security in your own thoughts- even if they do contradict each other sometimes.

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  40. I get this all the time! I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and people are always asking when we're going to get married. I'm only 24 so it's really not a big deal to me at the moment, we are committed to each other and that's all that matters. We're currently looking to buy a flat together and honestly I think a joint mortgage is a bigger commitment than marriage! x

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    1. I completely agree, that's a huge step! xo

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  41. Great post...Hope the New Year is treating you and Ralphie Bun well.

    Maid in Ireland xx

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  42. I love this post Jennie, me and my friends often discuss this as we get exactly the same thing. I have been getting the same questions since me and James got together, I think partly because we have known each other for so long and also maybe because I am the only one in my family who is even close to settling down.

    I too am not sure if we ever will get married, I do think about it sometimes but more in the sense that I would like the security that comes with it, not in our relationship but in the status that society gives the term wife rather than partner. I saw a lot of that when my Dad died, lots of companies wouldn't deal with anyone but my Mum but as soon as she was on the phone it all went very smoothly. My aunt also got married to her long term partner purely because her accountant advised her to as they had children, it still seems to make life easier in the long run.
    My default response to the questions though is that I would like us to build a home first, as in reality weddings are the price of a deposit on a house nowadays, although I don't want a big do I feel like it would be expected. I would much rather a garden party personally.
    It really is one of those things that I think our generation will struggle with because I think it is becoming less necessary as time goes by, but to the older generations it is absolutely essential, we all have a bit of an uphill struggle with this one I think!
    xx

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    1. I think it's important that if you do get married, the ceremony should be one that you want, and not something you're doing to please other people!

      I think it's something that becomes more important when children are in the picture, even though it really shouldn't! xo

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  43. Oh gosh, I hate conversations and nosy relatives.
    I know that I feel very strongly that I don't believe in marriage, and never want to get married. Not for any reason other than I know it's not for me. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't support someone else's choice to get married if they thought it was for them, it's not like I'd try to talk them out of it or anything.
    But I know that I'm happy as I am, and regardless of who I've been with, how in love we've been, my mind hasn't been changed. Ever.
    I've never been that kid with the dreams of the big dress- I always dreamed about being the one who was deisgning and making the dress, instead.
    All I can say is that you have to do what you feel is right for you. x

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  44. Such an interesting post, my boyfriend and I have been together for just over 6 years. I joke about the big diamond ring and he jokes that it'll never happen but the truth is just like you I don't know if marriage will ever happen for us we're happy and content as we are. Again like you I would just like a very small wedding if were to ever happen and seen as neither of us is remotely religious it wouldn't be in a church. I guess we'll just have to see what the future holds for us both!

    Lauren | Bits and Bobs xx

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  45. I think you're right on this! Why put so much pressure on something that seems to be going well. I've seen what marriage does to people. As the saying goes - if it's not broke, don't fix it.

    Marriage will never be in my plan, I'd happily co-habit with someone (proving we live in different houses - I'm not ready for anyone to see my make up free, hairy leg days) and children, well I've never had the desire to procreate - something that I struggle to meet 'the' man with the same out look...

    I think as long as you're both doing good - stay as you are.

    New follower by the way :-)
    www.lovinglifeinwellies.wordpress.com

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