Part of me anticipates your arrival each year, but this time you're bringing with you something that truly, truly scares me. It's something I can't quite bring myself to think about too much yet, let alone talk about. Actively ignoring it is something I'm becoming increasingly good at, but in under three weeks it's something I'll have to confront.
Running away has been a bit of a special talent of mine for all of my adult life and I thought that was the right thing to do. It was a way to protect myself from everything, but I had got the point where I was protecting myself from so much I was almost forgetting one of the most fundamental elements of being human, how to feel. Without sadness what is happiness? Without fear what is comfort?
And so now I believe there is value in facing fears, no matter how difficult a task it may seem to be at the time. While I may not conquer a fear this month, I hope that in directly confronting it I may end up learning something about myself. Perhaps I can be braver than I think I can be. Only time will tell.