H O M E .      A B O U T .      C O N T A C T .      T U M B L R .      T H E   B O O K   J O U R N A L .      sailorjennie [at] gmail [dot] com

Sunday, 17 January 2016

Missing You Always.


Monday January 11th, 2016. 
12:30am. It was almost time. You were quietly rustling in your hay nest and I couldn't sleep, not wanting you to be cold or alone. I scooped you up and brought you to bed, tucking you in beside me. You listened to me talk for a few hours, letting me gently hold your little paw. I think you were doing a better job at reassuring me, when it should have been the other way around. A final few shallow breaths, one last twitch of your ears and you slipped peacefully away. We grew up together, you and I. You knew all of my secrets, patiently listening to all of the silly worries my early-twenties seemed to conjure up, always there with a reassuring nose nudge or an agreeable stomp. Oh how good you were at stomping. It's not the same here anymore and it won't ever be again, not without you. But I'm clutching on to the thought that being with you in your final moments, and I'm so thankful that they were peaceful, just the two of us, is all I could have hoped for as the end became our present, and now my past.

Oh and by the way, I just found that little clump of hay (that must have taken ages to wedge in there) under the seat of my rowing machine. And that shows just how often I've been using that lately, doesn't it? Are you really exercise guilt tripping me from the bunny afterlife?

Missing you always, little kale monster.
xo


- One thought from each day, told in fewer than one hundred words (probably). Sometimes odd, sometimes silly, sometimes entirely nonsensical. Who knows. I don't. It's a new thing I'm trying. Except for this week. This week was difficult. The words wouldn't come. And I couldn't write anything else.

50 comments:

  1. Oh goodness me Jennie I'm so sorry. I can't believe he's gone. I've been reading your blog for 4 or 5 years now, and this little cutie has been such a huge part of it all. It will be strange not seeing his cute little face on here anymore. Sending you lots of love at such a sad time xxx

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  2. So sorry Jennie, I hope you are okay. What a beautiful tribute x

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  3. I'm really sorry to hear about your rabbit, hope your doing ok
    xx

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear! Losing a pet, heck, losing a family member is so so hard and it doesn't matter whether they were a fish or a dog, nothing can prepare you for the pain of losing a loved one. Bunnies are such characters!

    Take care of yourself, take the time to remember all the memories and definitely keep looking at that beautiful face too. You can't have too many photos now, can you?

    Sending as many virtual hugs you need!

    ~ K

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  5. This really touched me, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's truly heartbreaking saying goodbye to a beloved pet. I'm sorry.

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  6. I'm so sorry, it's heartbreaking losing a beloved pet. Your words are really touching.

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  7. Oh Jennie :( I'm so sorry! What a lovely tribute. They're more than pets, aren't they? They're part of the family. I hope you're okay xx

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  8. I'm so sorry Jennie :( I remember the day you first got this adorable little fluffball and wrote about him on your blog. Sending you all of my love and hugs xxx

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  9. :-(( I am so incredibly sad, Jennie. So sorry to hear the sad news. You gave him the best life ever, that is for sure. Hope you are ok. Lots of love xxxxxxxx

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  10. Oh no! Such sad news. RIP Ralphie :(

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  11. No :( Ralphie was the sweetest, most lovely little bun around and I'm truly sorry to hear this news. I've so enjoyed seeing his adventures over the years and, of course, being able to illustrate him in our storybook. It's horrible when we lose a beloved pet. All my love <3 xxxxx

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  12. Aww im sorry Ralphie passed away, its always tough when you lose your pet. I missed my rabbits (cats and dog) a lot too when they passed. I loved reading those beautiful words, people often forget that little creatures like rabbits can be such great companions too.

    hugs <3

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  13. Dear Jennie, I'm so so so sorry about your
    sweet pet of a fluffball :c -big virtual hug-
    xx Ice Pandora

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  14. So sorry for the loss of Ralphie, Jennie. He's been as much a part of your blog story as you have been; ever since I started reading your blog years ago he's been such a big part of it. Sending you lots of love.
    XO Amie
    Credit Crunch Chic

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  15. I'm so sorry to hear this, Jennie. I hope you're okay x

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  16. Rip Ralphie :'( hope you're alright, Jennie ♡♡♡

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  17. I'm so sorry to hear this, Jennie. I was very touched by your writing. Wishing you peace.

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  18. Oh Jennie. Beautiful words for such a painful moment. So sorry xxx

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  19. Oh my, I think my heart broke a bit reading this :(
    I'm so sorry Jennie, Ralphie was such a star. Sending you much love xx

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  20. <3 such beautiful words, Jennie.

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  21. Oh Jennie. So sorry for your loss! Sending you lots of love.

    T xx

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  22. I'm so sorry to hear this Jennie - Sending lots of hugs x

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  23. RIP Ralphie :( I literally just shed a tear for you as I felt every single word of your post. I'm so sorry for your loss. Little pets have such a massive impact on our lives xx

    Ioanna | Hearting.co.uk

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  24. I'm so sorry to read this Jennie, it's so hard to lose a pet. Reading this really touched me and made me thinking about when we lost the dog my sister and I grew up with four years ago. Take care of yourself, allow yourself to miss him, and remember the wonderful memories.

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  25. Awww, I'm so sorry to hear about Ralphie! I'll miss seeing his cute face around here. Sending warm thoughts your way <3

    becky ♡ star violet

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  26. I'm so sorry Jennie - it's so heartbreaking to lose a furry little part of your life. Thinking of you x

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  27. I'm so sorry! I honestly feel you, I've lost a few pets myself and I feel like crying for you xx

    franalibi.blogspot.co.uk

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  28. I just read this and I am so so sorry for your loss. Our little friends mean so much to us. I lost a little friend too last year and it was devastating. Lots and lots of love xxxxx

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  29. Tears in my eyes reading this post, so sorry xx

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  30. I'm so sorry for your loss. :( I remember reading all about him when I had my bunny Bear who looked so much like him. It's so awful to lose a pet. I hope you're doing okay x

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  31. So sorry for your loss, Jennie. I remember when he was just a wee rabbit you were writing about in the earlier days of Sailor Jennie. :[ Sorry, can't find better words. Hope you're well. x

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  32. So sorry to read this, although it was a very touching post. lots of love. xxx

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  33. Sorry to hear of your loss, this is a beautiful tribute. Take care of yourself!

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  34. I am incredibly sorry for your loss, Jennie :(
    My bunny that I spent the past eight years with was put to sleep as well last week and I feel your pain.
    How much these tiny creatures give you, how strong they are and their ability to help us through tough times is incomparable... they're family and it's extremely difficult to loose a member.

    Thinking of you! xx

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  35. I'm so sorry Jennie, I had tears in my eyes reading this. You are so fortunate to have shared the last moments together, though I know losing a pet will never be easy. Sending hugs xxx

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  36. I'm really sorry Jennie, it must be so hard right now. Thinking of you and little Ralphie, hang in there xxxx

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  37. Oh Jennie, I'm so sorry <3 Rest in peace little Ralphie.
    I'm glad he at least went peacefully, and with you with him - he must have known how much he was loved. Big hugs, lovely lady!

    Jess xo | The Indigo Hours

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  38. Oh, Jennie, I'm so sorry to read this. I'm in work at the moment and I'm tearing up at my desk - you've written such a beautiful tribute to little Ralphie. RIP, little dude. Sending you my love, Jennie.

    x

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  39. I am so sorry for your loss, Jennie. Ralphie was such a beautiful boy and you have given him a beautiful tribute.

    All my love at this difficult time xx

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  40. I'm so sorry for your loss Jennie, this was beautiful and sad to read at the same time. I hope you're fine now, and try to think of the good memories you've shared together all these years.

    X

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  41. Oh Jennie :( I'm so sorry for your loss, Ralphie was such a lovely, funny little character. Lots of love xxx

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  42. Jennie, I just saw this, I'm so sorry. They're not 'just pets' are they. They're our best friends. I'm so sorry he had to go. Sending hugs. X

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  43. losing a bun frien is the hardest. my charlie munchers passed on 4 years ago this feb and i still think about him every day, he was such a dream bun. people don't realise how intense the rabbit friendship really can be!!!

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  44. I'm so sorry to hear that Ralphie has passed. Sending lots of hugs

    Casey - ATopsyTurvyBlog

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  45. Oh Jennie, I'm so sorry to hear about Ralphie. Wishing you so much love xxx

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  46. Thinking of you Jennie, losing a pet is one of the worst things but I'm sure Ralphie had the best life :)

    Caz | thisiscaz

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  47. Oh Jennie, I'm so so sorry. Losing a companion is so hertbreaking, I'm sending you lots of love. Ralphie was a very special bunny xxxxxxx

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  48. I'm so sorry to hear about Ralphie! It's very beautiful to hold onto the good memories :) -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's

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  49. I'm so so sorry from a fellow house rabbit mummy. RIP Ralphie x

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