Follow Your Heart & You'll End Up Exactly Where You're Supposed To Be.

Sometimes I need reminding, more than anyone else, that it's one hundred percent okay to do your own thing and to be yourself. As the months have gone by I have felt more and more out of the blogging loop & that sinking feeling of realising things have moved on without you is always a tough one to deal with. Last night I was halfway through writing a goodbye post when I realised that this doesn't have to be goodbye. Why would I give up on something that makes me happy? I truly don't want it to end. So it's not going to. It's just going to change a little bit.  Maybe you'll want to stick around, I truly hope you will, but if not then I understand.

Two years ago I was a very different person. I was incredibly lonely, not at all comfortable with who I was and desperately looking for somewhere to fit in, somewhere where I felt like I really belonged. Finding that in my 'real life' didn't happen so I took solace in this little piece of the internet and it changed me, completely for the better. Everyone and everything changes, if you're anything like me, change can be hard to take sometimes, but it's in learning to adapt that makes you appreciate things that little bit more than you used to.

When I popped up that little survey around Christmas time asking what you would like to see more of on my blog, an overwhelming amount of people responded with more make up posts. And that's understandable, that's probably why 80% of people chose to subscribe in the first place. I did start off as solely a beauty blog. That was where I was in my life at that point. I wanted to learn more about these magical products that could transform me, a very plain and slightly chubby girl with acne, into someone who felt pretty and confident. I was heavily reliant on make up at that point in my life. I would not leave the house without a full face and backcombed hair. It wasn't an option for me because without it, I didn't feel confident. I was putting so much emphasis on improving my physical appearance because I didn't know how to improve other aspects of my life. I had just dropped out of University, which was one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make, I had a job I absolutely detested and the love of my life was three hundred miles away. I felt stuck. I had absolutely nothing going for me and I didn't know how to change that.

Fast forward two years and I still love make up, I will never not love make up, but there's so much more I have to say, there's so much more happening in my life that I want to share. I just don't know if anybody is interested. Of course I write these posts for me, but I also write them for you. There was something about Sailboat that made you click the subscribe button and for that I am eternally grateful because it just means so much to me. The last thing I want is to lose you all. My life would be a more lonely place if I didn't have you. As ridiculous as that may sound, I don't care, because it's true. I don't have a million friends I can call and go out for coffee with, and I'm okay with that, I'm someone that's completely content with my own company, but without you guys I would have no one really to share good news with or to have a little rant to and talk things over with. What would I do without you? It's never been about having a million subscribers, I hope I haven't ever come across like that, I was just as over the moon when the first person clicked subscribe as I was when the thousandth person did. I love your sweet emails and I love your comments, which is why I have been trying to do more make up posts. Sometimes my heart is in them and sometimes I'd much rather be telling you all about what I did last Thursday afternoon.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is it okay to share those things with you as well? Would you like to see the silly videos I make with Ralphie, the ridiculous photographs I still take on Photobooth and what I did last week? Ninety percent of you hated my instagram posts but I loved writing them, I also loved compiling little wishlists to show what I was loving and not loving at that time. Writing about make up and beauty products will never get old to me, I will always love taking outfit photographs, but I would love to share so much more as well!

I really hope you'll stick around. I may not fit in completely with the 'beauty community' anymore, beauty blogging has changed more that I could ever say in the past two years, I don't think it's changed for the worse, it's just very different and I don't feel like I have anything new to offer it anymore. There are so many other girls doing it so much better than I ever did or ever could. And that's okay, I think they're amazing and talented and incredibly beautiful and they deserve all the success in the world, they truly do, because they work so hard!

I hope that in between outfit photographs and my ramblings about make up and other such pretty things, you'll still like the everyday life posts just as much. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart. I have learned that it's impossible for anyone to please everyone all of the time, and ultimately you have to do what will make you the happiest. Life is just too short for 'what if's?' and regrets. Follow your heart and you'll end up exactly where you're supposed to be.

With Love,
Jennie May.
xoxo