H O M E .      A B O U T .      C O N T A C T .      T U M B L R .      T H E   B O O K   J O U R N A L .      sailorjennie [at] gmail [dot] com

Saturday, 27 April 2013

"You've Changed!"

"You've changed!" Two words that I have been hearing a lot recently both to me, about me and about other people. It's something that almost seems to have gained negative connotations, especially on the Internet, but honestly, change is more often than not a positive thing, and if it's not, I've found that there are always positive elements that can be taken from it. Maybe you learn something new about yourself, another person or situation. Change isn't always easy and sometimes it can be hard to accept and adjust to something new but it's unavoidable and it's how things stay fresh and exciting.

About six months ago I remember getting a comment telling me that I'd changed and initially I felt a bit taken aback, but after thinking about it I thought, well of course I have! As we grow it's natural to start to like different things, for priorities to change as you learn new things about yourself, where you're heading in life and your aspirations. It's part of life. I am so different in many ways to who I was three years ago when I first started blogging, but ultimately I'm still me. I'm Jennie, I'm still shy, I'm still trying to find my way in life, I'm still a little bit chubby. There are things about me that I'm pretty sure will always stay the same, but I hope the things that are different are positive changes.
I've made a mental note to grow my hair out again, long layers are the best, perhaps not such an extreme side parting though ;) Also lose 14 lbs - work in progress!

Three years ago I was super lonely in my 'in real life' life, I'd just found YouTube and I was watching all these beautiful beauty gurus with incredible make up collections and I wanted that too. I wanted the fancy dressing table, the drawers of make up, and the lifestyle that these girls had; they seemed so confident and secure with millions of friends. Now I'm a little older I can appreciate that what one portrays isn't always, and probably shouldn't be, a complete representation of their life, but that's a whole other post entirely. I started a blog talking about make up and I loved it for a really long time. Three years on and now I almost feel like I can't keep up. I don't have the disposable income to buy new things all the time and there are lovely ladies doing a better job than I could ever hope to; Lipglossiping, The Beauty Milk & Gh0stparties to name just a few of my favourites. Don't get me wrong, I still love make up, skin care and clothes, I love talking about them and that will never ever stop, but now there are different things that I like to talk about too. That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, I'm just more content than I ever have been at any other point in my life before and from that I feel more confident in sharing more. In the last three years I moved for the first time in my life, I own a home and I'm about to set up my own photography business that I'm crossing my fingers will work out. My life before was a little empty and now, mostly thanks to blogging, it's full of new and exciting things.

Over recent months I've been writing more personal posts because I wanted to. For the longest time I was writing things because I thought that's what people wanted to read and not because I wanted to write them. That was all wrong and from that all I was left with was a a bunch of forced posts that weren't interesting, helpful or fun to read. I needed to change things up and started to write about things in my life, things I wanted to remember, almost like an online diary. And I loved it, so I carried on. Sometimes I don't want to write about lipstick and sometimes I do, so now sometimes I do write about lipstick and sometimes I write about something completely different. Of course I know that not everyone wants to know about my life and I totally understand if you want to unsubscribe completely because not every update is going to be about beauty. That's okay because I never want you to feel obliged to read what I'm writing because you're not! It's been incredible to have you come along on this journey with me so far and I'd love you to stay, but you don't have to.

As I've grown up I've learned that you don't need to fit into a certain category if you don't want to and when I finally realised that I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. You can want to study science and art, you can listen to Rihanna and Nirvana and you can wear a pretty dress one day and ripped jeans & a band tee the next. You can want to be a ballerina and a doctor, you can like wild nights out and cosy nights in and you can like cats and dogs. Those were terrible examples, but you get my point, right? You can be anyone you want to be and you can change your mind as many times as you want!

There will always be those people in your life that would prefer you to do this or that, but I think the most important thing to think about is what you want to do. If you're not happy, then your heart won't be in it and you can get trapped in an endless cycle of feeling like there's something missing. If there's something you want to change in your life, do it! Finding the courage & motivation to change is half the battle so if you have that, you're already half way there. If you want to start a blog, do it, write about what you want to write about and don't listen if anyone says mean things. If your parents want you to be a lawyer but you want to be a fashion designer, show them some of your work and how talented and passionate you are about it. If you don't want to go to University, make real plans to do something else instead and work really hard. There's no secret to being successful, you just have to work really hard at something you love and hope that Lady Luck is smiling down on you. Always always always do what makes you happy, because life is far too short not to follow your dreams.

Change isn't always a bad thing. It's important to grow and to learn new things. Although it can be intimidating, embrace it because bigger and brighter things may come through it. 


Thursday, 25 April 2013

A picture taken almost 5 years ago.

Discovering old pictures you had forgotten about is one of the best things ever. This was taken almost 5 years ago, a few months after meeting Mark and on my very first trip to Ikea. I was super excited. Note my extreme side parting and the scarf I'm wearing in the height of summer. Oh to be 19 again!


Monday, 22 April 2013

Home: Inspiration Table.

Over the past few months I have discovered how blooming' difficult interior decorating is, it definitely doesn't come naturally to me and so choosing paint colours, pieces of furniture and everything else is all a bit of an ordeal - it seems to take me forever to make a decision. We don't really have a theme for each room, between the two of us we have such eclectic taste that instead we're just opting for things we like and hoping for the best!

One thing that had been on my wish list for a little while was a little side table that I could put some of my current favourite things on as sort of an inspiration table, to live in what will soon be my studio space. Please ignore the floor in the top pictures, it needs replacing sometime in the near future - it's on the never ending list of things to do! I wasn't really sure what I wanted other than that I'd like it to be white to match the other pieces in the room.

NotOnTheHighstreet, which is a website you can definitely lose an entire afternoon exploring, got in touch asking if I would like to pick out something I liked and when I spotted this Butler's Tray Table♦ I thought it would be perfect. For under £50 I'm really impressed, it's the perfect size and the little details really make it look and feel more expensive than it is. I like the antique white finish to the paint work, it's almost a little shabby chic without being too shabby chic - if that makes any sense at all?!

I think the things on it will change all the time, with it being in my photography space I'm sure within a few weeks it'll be covered in cameras, but for now it's a bit like the rest of the house - eclectic, which I'm using in place of 'messy' because it sounds better! The vintage bottles and dominoes were a car boot sale find last year and I'm very excited to go to a few again this year. I'm not very disciplined though and usually end up coming home with an armful of things I'm not sure what to do with. Of course I have a few cameras sitting there and an empty Hendricks bottle that was too pretty to throw away. Finally we have this super sweet golden owl from Matalan that I have named Owliver. I couldn't leave him in the shop, I'm one of those people, always a complete sucker for cute things!

Next on my home decor to do list is artwork. I wandered around the house a couple of days ago and realised just how many walls we have to fill, which is both amazing and daunting at the same time. We have a couple of frames that I need to fill with our photographs and some canvases to hang, but apart from that I think I'll be turning to NotOnTheHighStreet again for some beautiful prints, I really love supporting indie artists and designers, now all I have to do is narrow down my list! 

Do you have an inspiration table anywhere in your home? 
Are you into interior design? 
If so do you have any favourite websites that you like to look through?

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Monthly Favourites: March 2013.

Last month I really enjoyed having a dig though my beauty drawers and using some products that I haven't for a really long time. It was almost like going shopping but without spending any money and it made me realise how many things I need to either use more or use up. I know it will take me forever to hit pan on a blush but I seem to have accumulated a lot of body products that I've told myself I have to use up before I purchase anything else and it's been really refreshing. It's really nice to de-clutter a little bit but I actually want to finish things and not just throw them away. 

I received a lovely Marc Jacobs Dot giftset for Christmas which included the perfume and the body lotion. Last month I finally got tired of all the cold weather and wanted to use something that reminded me of the springtime and this body lotion totally did that. It's not the most amazing lotion I've ever used in my life but the scent is beautiful and that's enough for me right now. The sunshine has finally decided to say hello to us in the UK and I know I'll be reaching for Dot a lot over the coming weeks.

I was sent the Macadamia Flawless Cleansing Conditioner♦ from the girls over at Baobella and at first I wasn't totally sure how to use it and what it would do but after a bit of a google search (thank goodness for beauty blogs!) I discovered it's essentially a shampoo and conditioner in one and it promises to cleanse, condition, refine and perfect. I assumed it would be best for dry hair but after the bottle said it's great for all hair types I decided to give it a try on my normal/oily hair and I am incredibly impressed.

I use no more than 2 pumps and it comes out as a super creamy foam texture. It's easy to disperse throughout and I leave it for a few minutes before rinsing out. It doesn't weigh my hair down at all, instead just leaving it feeling super clean, hydrated and soft. It's on the pricey side at around £20 but I would be very tempted to ditch my regular shampoo & conditioner for this, especially if this can lasts for a good amount of time.

Last month I talked about the Estee Lauder Stay-On Shadow Paint♦ in Halo, but this month I have been reaching for the shade 'Pink Zinc' almost every day. These are the only cream shadows that have actually lived up to their promises and stay on for more that 5 minutes on my super oily eyelids, as long as I set them with a powder shadow. This shade gives the prettiest almost rose gold sheen, it's super pretty and perfect for a fresh spring time make up look. It really brightens and opens up the eyes without having to fuss around with too many products. Perfect!

Another product that is perfect for a fresh spring time make up look is the Jemma Kidd Dewy Glow in Iced Gold. As far as I know this isn't available anymore which is such a shame, so I'm super sorry if you didn't manage to get your hands on this, but I'm mentioning it in case you do have it in your collection but, like me, haven't reached for it in a few months. For me the warmer months are all about cream products and this is the prettiest cream highlight I have come across. It's quite natural looking, it sort of blends perfectly into the skin leaving a slight glow which is perfect if you like barely there make up like me.

I apologise for the terrible colours in this picture, I just could not for the life of me get it right, but these were my two most reached for lip products last month. Firstly Beehive from Seventeen is a true staple in my collection. For some reason I haven't reached for it in a while and I know they've since repackaged the Mirror Shine range but this is my all time favourite glossy nude shade. It's not too pale and the sheer, glossy formula is super forgiving so it's really easy to wear. Again, perfect for a natural make up or the perfect lip colour to wear with a dramatic smokey eye.

For when I fancied a bit of colour, I found myself automatically reaching for the L'Oreal GlamShine Stain Splash in Marilyn. Again, it leaves a super glossy finish to the lips which I adore because mine are always so dry and because it's a stain it's non fussy and doesn't need reapplying a tonne of times throughout the day. Marilyn is the perfect pink, it's not too pale but it's not too bright either and it seems to go with a lot of different make up looks. It also smells a bit like cherry sweeties which is an added bonus!

Finally I have two blush favourites because, you know me, I can never pick just one! Firstly is NARS Deepthroat, which is a fairly new addition to my make up collection and I love it because it reminds me of the springtime. I'm sure you can see a theme in my favourites for last month, I was desperately looking forward to some sunshine! Deepthroat is a super pretty peachy pink shade with a bit of shimmer that instantly perks up my complexion making it look healthier and glowy. I love this colour a lot!

And lastly is another old favourite, Illamasqua Unrequited. This was one of the very first products I ever bought from Illamasqua and I think I will always love it. It gives the prettiest warm baby pink flush to the cheeks that never looks too much or too intense. Again, another perfect springtime make up product and I actually also really love that it's matte because sometimes I feel that sparkle doesn't look quite right.

What were your favourites during March? 

Monday, 15 April 2013

Birthday Wish List!

The older I get the harder it is for me to answer 'So, what would you like for your birthday?' These days a pretty card is more than enough, it's nice to know that someone is thinking about you and I'd much prefer them to spend the money on themselves! Naturally that doesn't stop me making a little fantasy wish list, though! There's something very therapeutic about making these, it's almost like buying them!
1. Love Moschino is a brand I find myself lusting over on ASOS quite a lot, especially because quite often their bags aren't leather. This sweet little owl shoulder bag is completely adorable and reminds me a little of the ever so beautiful Chanel Wallet on Chain bags. I do wish the chain was longer on this one, but I think it would be quite easy to make a longer one to put on and it would make a lovely clutch with no chain at all. Perfect for those easy days where I don't want to cart around a huge bag!

2. French Connection spring dresses get me every year, the prints are always beautiful and the cuts are always so flattering. I've seen so many gorgeous dresses on the high street recently but they're all SO short. This French Connection Spring Bloom Shirt dress is just perfect, it has a fairly hefty price tag, but it's super pretty!

3. After trying and loving the L'Oreal GlamShine Stain Splashes, I've been wanting to try the real deal! There are so many beautiful shades within the YSL Glossy Stain range but this one, rose pastelle, has particularly caught my eye because it looks so wearable.

4. With summer fast approaching, hopefully, I've been looking for a light base to use during the warm weather. My super dry skin usually means most bases don't apply smoothly but after reading lots of reviews I think the Bobbi Brown Tinted Moisturising Balm looks perfect & I think one of the lightest shades will match me perfectly which is an added bonus!

5. Eeeee! An Alice in Wonderland inspired Diana Mini Camera - SO cute!

6. I have an entire draw of lip products that I barely touch because at the moment I'm all about the sheer stains and light balms, so although I definitely don't need to add to my lip product collection, I think these Clarins Instant Smooth Crystal Lip Balms look beautiful! It looks like they give a good amount of colour and Clarins have really been impressing me as a brand recently!

7. Spring & Summer make up is all about the healthy glow and I actually don't own a powder highlighter, which I feel the need to correct. Topshop Sunbeam Highlighter is one I've heard nothing but good things about and I think the warm tone will look stunning in the sunshine!

8. Now I know these are supposed to be for children & I will be turning 24 and not 4 on my birthday, but I don't care. I love bunnies & I love ice lollies so this sweet little Woodland Bunnies Lolly Maker from DotComGiftShop is perfect!

9. There are always a couple of Pandora charms I find myself lusting over and at the moment, this Silver Teddy Bear is at the top of my list!

10. Bunny shoes! Need I say more?!

What's on your wish list at the moment? 

Sunday, 14 April 2013

missing someone.

It's been almost two whole years since I moved a few hundred miles from the place I grew up, to where I am now, to be with my boyfriend. I feel like those two years have passed by in the blink of an eye, they do say time flies when you're having fun and I think they're right.
These two years have been wonderful and we've barely spent more than a day apart. We've had our ups, the highs and we've had our lows just like everyone, you know? Life isn't a magical fairytale, I don't think you should ever get complacent and I wouldn't change that for the world. Good things are worth working for! I'm lucky enough to have found my other half and I don't quite function the same way when I'm not with him, but in those two years I haven't had a chance to miss him, and I missed that.
If you're in a long distance relationship right now I'm sure you're probably throwing things at your laptop and shouting 'girl you craaaaaazy!!' I know. I feel a little bit completely ridiculous even thinking it, but after spending the most part of three years missing him, it was almost strange not to. Obviously I'll happily take seeing him every day over once every few months any day, and when the LD element of your R suddenly isn't there anymore you quickly learn how to keep things exciting and fresh in other ways, but I must admit, I've secretly quite liked this little touch of nostalgia.
For the past few weeks he has been working insanely hard and honestly, I think he deserves a huge promotion, so you know, promotion Gods if you're listening, work a little of your magic over here please? A mixture of late nights and early mornings on his part and even later nights and not so early mornings on my part has meant our schedules haven't been very compatible. Instead of potentially disrupting what little sleep he has been getting (he would have been a super grumpy bear!) I've taken myself away to my mama's house. And by away I mean 30 seconds down the street. So you know, he's not hundreds of miles away right now and if I really needed a cuddle I could have one, but I've probably spent all of an hour with him in two weeks and I miss him. A lot. And in a funny kind of way... that's kind of nice.


Friday, 12 April 2013

Monday, 8 April 2013

Not everyone is going to like you and that's okay!

When I was a teenager I thought that by twenty three I'd have things figured out, you know? Settled in a career or at least on a solid path to, well...somewhere! I also thought that the key to being happy in life was to be settled and lets face it, 23 when you're a teenager feel SO old. What I didn't know, well, there were many things I didn't know, but one is that 23 is certainly not old and another is that sometimes being totally settled is a little claustrophobic. And as it turns out I'm not a 9-5 career kind of person, now I just need to figure out what I really want to do - I'm still working on that one.

I've spent far too long in the past holding back on doing things incase they don't work out or incase people think it's a silly idea and now I see how completely ridiculous that is. If I had a penny for every time I've held back sharing something, because of what someone might say or think, I'd be a very rich woman indeed. I felt this constant feeling of wanting to be liked by everyone, even if that meant not saying what I truly felt. 

But it's so refreshing to learn that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay!
It's one of those life lessons that is both useful and comforting. Unfortunately, sometimes when people don't like you, instead of doing the normal thing and just ignoring you, they say mean things about you. At first this actually really hurts, especially if, like me, you're super emotional anyway, but you learn to move on, your skin gets a little bit thicker and you stop caring because, well, you feel a bit of pity for the meanies. Sure, there are people I don't get along with, it's part of life, but instead of obsessively stalking all possible social media sites just waiting for a picture to pop up that's been taken from a less than flattering angle or for them to say something, anything, no matter how small or silly that can be blown out of all proportion, I just...move on. And if everyone  did that, the Internet would be a much nicer place and I imagine the meanies would begin to feel a lot more content with their own lives rather than festering in a bubble of negativity. That can't possibly be fun or fulfilling.

Sure, sometimes it's so easy, especially if you're having a bad day yourself, to see an unflattering photograph or whatever and think 'ooh..' but instead of focusing on that negative thing, why not switch it around and instead think 'oh that hair style is super pretty' or 'that colour is really flattering'. I imagine most of us have had a couple of non-constructive comments at some point, I had a couple about my weight a few months back and it didn't bother me so much in terms of what they said because, honestly, it was all true. What bothered me is that not for one second did they ever think about potential reasons why perhaps I was a bit chubbier than usual before negativity came pouring out. And you know, even if I had been indulging on one too many pizzas, so what! I have some incredibly supportive people around me, but some people aren't so lucky.

Sometimes things go so much deeper than they appear to be on the surface.  
Sometimes you just need to talk about things without going into all the details because they're just a bit too raw or too close to your heart at that moment in time to put out there on the Internet for all to see. Sometimes you just need someone there to say that it'll be alright in a little while rather than 'haha omgzzz you look horrendous lololol!' because you know, there's more to life than looking your best all the time. I feel it's important to say that I'm not confusing constructive criticism with hate here. There is so much difference between saying 'you're so fat, you shouldn't be wearing that you look disgusting' and 'I think a little waist belt would look really nice with your outfit'. Constructive criticism is so helpful, it's how we all progress and grow because none of us have all the answers so sharing the knowledge and opinions we have in a positive way will always be beneficial.
All I can say to anyone who has had mean things said about them is, please always hold your head up high! Don't let it get to you and don't let it put you off sharing the things you want to. I've never been more sure that its so important to be yourself, even if that means standing out from the crowd a little bit. When you're true to yourself everything feels so much brighter and positive. We all have bad days where things get on top of us, but you really can't fight a negative with another negative.

Always look for the positives, they're always there somewhere - I promise!