On Blogging, Feeling a bit Lonely & Forming Connections

Somewhere I lost sight of the sparkle that beamed whenever I was doing something blog related. It wasn't the layout. It wasn't my failed attempts to use social media adequately. It was the life curation. Editing out the meh bits sounds so brilliant, but in trying to pretend everything was fabulous all the time I forgot to let myself feel sad. Or overwhelmed. Or confused. Reader surveys told me 'woe is me posts' were awful. They weren't intended to read in that way. I wasn't a great writer back then, not that I am now, but I wasn't in a good place. It turns out, despite me thinking I can process everything in a fairly rational way so thoughts become almost entirely unimportant within a few minutes, not having some kind of outlet, a place to talk freely as and when things pop into my head isn't great. 'In real life' I'm a quiet person. I don't necessarily talk about how I'm feeling or what's going on. That's not to say I don't understand those comments. I totally do. You've had a really bloody long day at school/work/the beck and call of small children and you just want to read about beauty, look at a gorgeous outfit, or bookmark the best looking cake recipe you've ever seen in the hopes that you'll have enough time to try and recreate it one day soon. You don't want a window into someone's existential crisis.

With so many stunning blogs that have very focused and consistent posts, I'm almost entirely convinced you don't choose to stop by sailboat to see those things. Because I'm not focused. And I'm not consistent. But I am a bit lonely. Connecting with people isn't something that comes easily to me. Very recently the spectacular Tori has come into my life. We're similar in many ways. But she has this incredible ability to connect with people and make them feel like they're the most important person in the world as she's speaking to them, or listening intently to what they have to say. And I know that because that's exactly how she makes me feel. That's an intrinsic and very organic part of her nature. And somehow I've found myself exchanging lengthy emails with someone I've only known exists for a week, because I took a leap and actually said something without automatically assuming no one would care or be able to relate. To be honest it's been a bit of a revelation and I can't thank Tori enough for rebooting a little part of me I feared might have shut down forever. 

There's no danger of me going for the 'laying absolutely everything out for the world to see' thing. There's no intention to dump all of my earthly concerns or burdens on to you. But in between the beauty posts (because I still bloody love make up), or wishlists (because I still bloody love looking at pretty things), monthly lifestyle favourites (because I still bloody love weird things), or things that make me happy posts (because I still bloody love being happy as often as possible and appreciating the little things!) there may be more general musings. If they're vague they're not cryptic, they're just imperfect, unfinished thoughts that may once have been scribbled down on the back of a napkin and lost forever, or worse, lodged at the back of my mind forever being dwelt upon, that I'm noting down in order to hopefully approach them in a more objective way.

They won't always be particularly important. Will I ever eat oats for breakfast, or is toast just my thing forever? Or sad. This really hurts, do you know what will make me feel better? Or serious, because sometimes they'll just be plain silly. Is it possible to go through life without having to iron anything? People keep telling me I should at least own an iron, but I think that sounds like a bit of a slippery slope! And if you're ever feeling something similar, maybe we can connect and try and figure it out together? A problem shared is a problem halved. Not always the case, but sometimes another perspective, another mind with a different way of processing thoughts can open minds to something completely new and previously unfathomable.

Hello, my name is Jennie.

Would you like to be friends?

Banks -  This Is What It Feels Like 

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P.S. Please welcome my 'All Aboard' partner for August, Loved by Laura! 
And please also say hello to Emilia Leigh and Laugh with me LeLe

On My Desk

Moving furniture around is something I find myself doing more than is necessary. It's usually something I start doing at around 10pm and by 1am I'm wishing I hadn't started. It always takes longer than expected. But most of the time I like the change and don't end up moving everything back to where it was before the next day.

During this particular shuffle around, my desk has now found a new home (you can see how it looked before here) in front of the window. I don't get to look at my photograph wall anymore but the extra light is brilliant and I can see a little patch of countryside in the distance if I look in between and over the rooftops of surrounding houses. The fields are a mixture of green and golden at the moment and it'll be nice to see them change with the seasons. It's no sea view, but it's not too shabby.

Please excuse the creases in the curtains. I just got them and I'm waiting for the creases to drop out by themselves because I'm allergic to ironing. They're fairly weighty so it shouldn't take too long. Good old ikea. They're the Ingert in dark grey and they're only £35, which for curtains I didn't think was too bad. Gosh, that might just be the most boring sentence I've ever typed. I do love a good soft furnishing though. I think that's how you measure when you're becoming a real adult. 

In addition to holding a plethora of 'things I keep on hand because they might be handy' like stickers, tape and glasses cleaner, Mortimer is my number one desk buddy. He's also rocking a cocktail umbrella because he's always ready to party. Next to him is the crystal goblet I got the last time I went to the Harry Potter Studio Tour. It was ridiculously expensive, but it's proving to be very useful. In there I have some hairbands, a £5 note for if I ever fancy nipping over to the shop for emergency snacks at 3 in the afternoon, a tinted lip balm and a little worry doll I've had for years but have no idea where she came from.

Similarly a desk is not my desk without a cup of tea. The mug is one I've had since I was very small that I recently uncovered in an box of old things. I hope I don't accidentally break it, but it seemed a shame to put it back in the box where it would sit unused forever. And it's bunnykins. Too cute.

The Treacle Moon bath & shower gel is there because I just got it and it smells almost exactly like the smell I smelt the first time a cup of butterbeer was handed to me. Very sweet. Absolutely bloody brilliant! Unequivocally the best shower gel ever.

I still have my much loved desk tidy from Rocket St George but it lives on the top of one of my little bookshelves now and if I stretch I still don't even have to leave my seat to reach it so that's a bit of a result. In its place I dug out one of my old acrylic paper sorters that I got from Homebase a long time ago and it houses most of my blushes and lip products.

Other than that I just have a couple of plants, one of them looks a bit sad but I'm trying to save him, a monthly calendar that I don't use nearly enough, a butterbeer tankard filled with pens, highlighters and delightfully hideous paperclips with faces, and my trusty desk lamp.

On My Desk, with links where I can find them...
• White Desk
• Ikea Dark Grey Curtains
• Homebase Acrylic Paper Sorter
• Gold Star Candle Stick Holder from Rockett St George
• Ikea Floral Plant Pot
• Skull Desk Tidy*
• Noble Collection Crystal Goblet
• Treacle Moon Marshmallow Hearts Bath and Shower Gel
• Orla Kiely Plant Pot
• Desk Lamp
• Busy B Monthly Calendar

Do you have a desk space you like to work from?

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P.S. Please welcome my 'All Aboard' partner for August, Loved by Laura! 
And please also say hello to Emilia Leigh and Laugh with me LeLe

What's in my bag?

Cross body bags are the best. No faffing around with something constantly falling off my shoulder. Nothing hanging off my elbow that I may accidentally hit other people with as I'm walking past. I'm all about the hands free, don't even know I'm carrying anything life. And as far as affordable cross body bags go, this one from Miss Selfridge isn't bad. The strap is long enough for my 5'10 long-bodied frame, which is a small miracle in itself and although it's not my preferred colour of black, it's neutral enough to work with my wardrobe.

Miss Selfridge Cross Body Bag* | £15

As for what's inside, well, I was pretty impressed with how much comfortably fits inside with a bit of possession tetris, although none of it is particularly interesting... 

• Coin purse
• Mini notebook for lists galore
• Brilliantly tacky lipstick pen
• My trusty Nokia
• Mirror
• Little bit of cash for emergency sweets or something!
• Lily Lolo Lipgloss
• Dior Lipgloss
• I Love...Raspberry & Blackberry body spray
• Hand gel

I'm not sure why more than one lipgloss is necessary but it could definitely be a lot worse. I'm sure at one point I had at least 7 lip products in my bag at any given time. Please excuse my brick of a phone. I'm not into smart phones, this one has snake and the battery lasts 2 weeks at a time so it works for me!

Do you somehow end up with multiple lip products in your bag?

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P.S. Please welcome my 'All Aboard' partner for August, Loved by Laura! 
And please also say hello to Emilia Leigh and Laugh with me LeLe

Today's To-Do List!

Take an absurdly long bubble bath.

Attempt to read something. After finishing A Little Life I've been completely unable to read anything because I keep thinking about it so much. Hopefully some Harry Potter will bring me back into the reading world this afternoon!

Put up our new lampshade. Turns out lampshade reducers are a thing and I needed one to allow me to hang the shade I ended up buying. You learn something new everyday, eh?!

Reply to the wonderful comments I receive on my posts so consistently. As I was finishing off the last assignment of my degree I got really behind. Really, really behind. Months behind. I'm not sure I'll ever catch up, so I hope it's okay if I start here and work backwards knowing that I might not reach the beginning any time soon?

Silly dance when dusting and hoovering the house. Who says cleaning can't also be fun?

Look into graphics tablets. Wacom seem to be consistently highly reviewed. Have you ever tried one, if so what do you think?

Try to fit in some work somewhere. I've moved my desk in front of the window and I can see a patch of countryside if I look between the houses. It's both distracting and motivating. Distracting because it's so beautiful, and motivating because if I work harder maybe one day there won't have to be any other houses in the way of my view!

Happy Sunday! 

Do you have any plans?

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P.S. Please welcome my 'All Aboard' partner for August, Loved by Laura! 
And please also say hello to Emilia Leigh and Laugh with me LeLe

Lily Lolo BB Cream in Fair, Mineral Blush in Beach Babe & Lip Gloss in Clear | Reviews!

Lily Lolo mineral make up reviews were what I was searching for when I first stumbled across the beauty blogging community back in 2009, so thank you Lily Lolo, I really have you to thank for all things sailorjennie!

Lily Lolo have come a long way and it's so wonderful to see an authentic brand achieve so much success, driven by founder Vikki and her husband Arfan. On the first day of trading in 2005 they took three orders and now, as celebrations for their 10th birthday are well underway, Lily Lolo products are sold in 39 countries. A fabulous success story that highlights the quality of the range.

Lily Lolo BB Cream in fair* | £12.49 for 40ml
When my skin was more on the oily side I adored the mineral foundation, it was the only thing I used for a really long time and I must have gone through at least three tubs! I was struggling a lot with acne at the time and the foundation was something that went a long way to giving me back the self confidence I had lost. Unfortunately my skin is much to dry to be able to use it alone now, but they've just brought out their BB Cream in the shade fair and it's the best match for my skin tone (I'm a MAC NC15 / NARS Terre-Neuve for reference) that I've found in a liquid base product in a long time.

It comes in a squeezy tube with a pump, which is my favourite type of packaging, and the coverage is light and very natural. I do have to be careful with what I use underneath it though. If I've used a heavy moisturiser it can bunch up and become a little difficult to blend and if I don't set it with a powder it tends to move around, particularly where my glasses sit on my nose. But that's me being really picky. It's under £15, the colour match is great, and it's vegan friendly, so I'm totally willing to work with it a little more during application.

Lily Lolo Mineral Foundation in China Doll | full size £13.99; sample size £1.49
Ignore the white tub, it's the old packaging that I'm currently using to house the sample of the mineral foundation in China Doll I bought a few months ago. It's just easier to swirl my brush in a large lid, rather than the little pot the sample sizes come in. This is my setting powder and it's perfect. It offers a little extra coverage but still looks very natural, it keeps my base in place whilst not being too matte. My skin still looks like skin, and that's exactly what I look for in a powder.

Lily Lolo Mineral Blush in Beach Babe* | £8.49
Their shimmer blushes aren't my favourite, but their matte blushes are really beautiful. Beach Babe is the matte, light peach shade that I've been looking for! As with all Lily Lolo blushes it's pigmented, finely milled and incredibly easy to blend. The light colour means I don't have to worry about applying too much, but a small amount goes a long way and lasts all day. This particular shade isn't vegan friendly, but many are, and I think it's great that the website makes it clear which are and which aren't.

Lily Lolo Lip Gloss in Clear* | £7.99
Recently I've been on the lookout for something to replace my beloved Clarins Lip Perfectors and I think this might be it. I'm not a fan of bold lip colours on myself anymore so this sheer gloss with a hint of peach is one that has been a staple in my make up bag since I got it. The slight chocolate scent isn't a million miles away from the caramel of the Clarins Lip Perfectors, and they both give a glossy look without any stickiness. I also have the shade English Rose and it's been a real favourite for a long time.

Happy 10th Birthday Lily Lolo - here's to many more birthdays to come! 

Have you ever tried anything from the Lily Lolo range?

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P.S. My 'All Aboard' partner for August, Loved by Laura, has just celebrated her first blog birthday - please pop over to say congratulations! 

And please also say hello to Emilia Leigh and Laugh With Me LeLe