H O M E .      A B O U T .      C O N T A C T .      T U M B L R .      T H E   B O O K   J O U R N A L .      sailorjennie [at] gmail [dot] com

Monday, 25 April 2016

One New Album Each Day • 41 - 50

The next ten albums I listened to on my quest to listen to one new album every day this year, and this might just be the best installment yet!

Forty One. Blackstar - David Bowie
Thoughts: I mean, c'mon, it's Bowie

Forty Two. If I Should Go Before You - City and Colour
About: Acoustic folk.
Favourite Tracks: Northern Blues, Mizzy C
Thoughts: YAAS!

Forty Three. Made of Water - Ziggy Alberts
About: Singer songwriter
Thoughts: Cute, summery vibes

Forty Four. Every Night - Lo-Fang
About: Indie pop, alternative
Favourite Track: Every Night
Thoughts: Beautiful

Forty Five. Pure Heroine - Lorde
Favourite Tracks: Tennis Court, Royals, Swinging Party
Thoughts: Bit of a cheat as of course I've listened to this album before, but not for ages. Liked it even more this time

Forty Six. Blue Film - Lo-Fang
About: Indie pop, alternative
Favourite Tracks: #88, You're The One That I Want
Thoughts: Lovely + ohh it's that song from that advert

Forty Seven. Birthdays - Keaton Henson
About: Folk rock
Favourite Track: Sweetheart What Have You...
Thoughts: Mellow

Forty Eight. If You Leave - Daughter
About: Indie folk
Favourite Track: Youth, Lifeforms
Thoughts: So much more complex than the album I listened to a little earlier this year

Forty Nine. When You Walk A Long Distance You Are Tired - Mothers
About: Folk, experimental
Favourite Tracks: Too Small For Eyes, It Hurts Until It Doesn't
Thoughts: Brilliant, absolutely brilliant

Fifty. Sound & Colour - Alabama Shakes
About: Blues, rock, soul
Favourite Track: This Feeling, Miss You
Thoughts: All of them!

Favourites: Lo-Fang, City + Colour, Daughter, Mothers + Alabama Shakes


Saturday, 16 April 2016

Then // Now

Making sense of invisible chaos (the kind that resides inside my head + of which there's certainly more than enough of whirring around up there) seems to be easier to process than tangible chaos. At least when said tangible chaos is concentrated in one, smallish space.

My sense of the chaotic certainly hasn't gone anywhere. And I'm really quite glad about that. I'm not really sure who I would be without it. 

Note an old blu-tack mark on the wall + strategically balanced out-of-reach-of-bunny-teeth wire. We're far from pinterest perfect in these parts. And we're okay with it. But I will paint over that spot. One day. Eventually.

Thursday, 14 April 2016

Pretending / Not.

When I first started school the thought of answering my name to the register each morning, that one second where the only voice everyone in the room would hear would be mine, was too overwhelming for thought. Until one day I did answer and everyone made such a fuss that I can, almost, still feel the intense burning of my cheeks. To me it wasn't a big deal, but to everyone else it was. And that was the day I learnt that not only do you sometimes have to do things that feel so impossible, you have to do them whilst pretending it's okay, or that it isn't taking all of your power in that moment to do it. Pretending became second nature and I was very good at it. I am very good at it. I've been convincing even myself for a very long time.

But when I gave myself permission to finally feel something again it was like opening the curtains after a long winter night. And at first it was as though I was an outsider looking into my life, my soul, my very being and I couldn't see very much at all. An almost void. Near emptiness that was being thinly veiled by anything I could grasp and hold on to tightly for long enough to deflect any eyes that may have been trying to peek inside, because if no one else knows there's nothing there, then there's nothing wrong. 

But for the first time in a long time, there was something new there. It may only have been whispers from the ghost of the girl who once felt like she could take on the world and come out on top, but all we ever need is the reassurance that there's still something, someone in there somewhere. 

So I may not have an answer. There probably isn't one. Answers are rare and often disappointing beings. But I do know that although feelings of giving in may try to seduce you, it's often the easy option, and sometimes you do have to do things that feel impossible. Things that will take everything that you possibly have to give. Pretend that it's easier than it is if it helps to get you through, but being honest, even simply with yourself, can feel like standing on top of the tallest hill, staring up towards a starry sky at midnight and shouting hello, here I am.


Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Friday, 8 April 2016

Dark Chocolate Puddings, The Adele Make Up Tutorial & New Art Work • Newsletter #3

My editorial calendar tells me I should be writing a Birchbox post today, but I just...can't. I can't. And side note, the words editorial calendar are up there with the most ridiculous words I've used in a sentence to date. Not because there's anything wrong with them, but because it appears that I'm currently unable to write on demand, even when the person doing the demanding is myself. Or maybe it's because the person doing the demanding is myself. Who knows. Either way I'm operating on a writing what I fancy basis and hoping it makes this space a little less...blah.

Beatrix is now brave enough to jump up on to just about everything there is to jump up on to. We've got extra covers on all beds, sofas and chairs because she does love to nibble on everything. So far the spare bed is her favourite because it gets lots of afternoon sunshine and has an especially soft blanket on it.

F R O M   A R O U N D   T H E   W E B .

F A V O U R I T E   T H I N G S .

  • Snow Cake. You know I watched this and teared up throughout because Alan Rickman! 
  • Sleek Pout Polish in Bare Minimum.  Forever on the lookout for the perfect nude lip, but I always come back to this.
  • Pacifica Island Vanilla Perfume. 
  • The newest addition to my print collection. I even braved Ikea during half term to get a frame for it.
  • Alpro dark chocolate puddings.

B O O K S . 

  • Currently Reading: A Reunion of Ghosts by Judith Claire Mitchell
  • Next Read: My Grandmother Sends Her Regards and Apologises by Fredrik Backman

P O D C A S T S . 
Generation Why. I's no Serial - the storytelling isn't the best - but I can't stop listening.

S O N G S . 

When We Were Young » I sob-cried-sang-along to this last Saturday night and it was a beautiful moment.
All I Ask » When the sound system failed, we carried on singing.
Hope There's Someone » Because Anthony and the Johnsons have been on repeat for the last two weeks.

A P R I L   B I R C H B O X . 
It seems somehow fitting to finish this newsletter with April's Birchbox, the post I had intended to write today but didn't because, I think, the contents don't feel as inspiring or exciting as they usually do. The Balance Me Tinted Eye Cream however is very gratefully received by my under eye circles.

Happy Friday! 
Have you had a good week? 

Jennie May

Sunday, 3 April 2016

Dear April.

You've started pretty spectacularly. And it's now up to me to make sure, without question, that it continues.